


Thunder Clouds: Zerrissen

by K_Lionheart



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Gen, Lots of Angst, Multi, multiple characters, new and improved, updated version of Thunder Clouds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-18 11:50:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8161132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_Lionheart/pseuds/K_Lionheart
Summary: The year is 854, two years since the Final Conflict and the Fall of the Titans. This was the time for humanity to taste freedom, but heavy losses and a small population bring to pass an undeniable mandate: All able-bodied soldiers must fill in a survey and thereby be matched for the purpose of breeding new generations. That is not to say the results will be agreeable, however.Thunder Clouds: Zerrissen is an improved version of Thunder Clouds, unveiling a deeper game and darker intentions are certainly afoot.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the new and improved version of TC! This story will be marginally different than its predecessor; a reconstruction, if you will, to tie in the events of this story and Nimbus, its sequel, more effectively. For more information, feel free to follow me on Tumblr, I'm K-lionheart.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

 

 

The day Erwin Smith turned twenty, it rained. Thick plumes of black thunderclouds covered the skies above in a rage of lightning, creating an icy deluge that washed away the pools of crimson deep into the wounds of the earth. He would not forget how his mouth had filled with bile and hatred on that day, his hands trembling around the hilts of his Omni-directional gear.

He would not forget the devastation of defeat, the merciless bite of an uncanny truth. He believed in the power of his blades. He believed in the advances humanity made to fight against the Titans and the threat of extinction. He believed it as strongly as he believed in the life coursing within his veins, in the Titan blood that scalded him, in the rivers that emptied from those he had known closely, warmly, and intimately.

For every day that passed since then, Erwin Smith committed his life to a single belief; that humanity was not meant to live in a cage. Every bond since then, every tactical choice, and every life lost since—Erwin used all as kindling for that belief, throwing himself fully to make it burn, flourish, live.

Any opportunity to know his enemy and every failure hence only fueled the desperation to make this belief a reality.

Years passed and Erwin battled rivers, thunderclouds, and rain of all kinds.

Then, one day, a new cry echoed over the lands and deep within the walls. A cry so loud and deafening it burst all around them. It ripped through a young boy's throat and stunned everyone silent. It was a cry that began many, from shouts of fear and concern to cries of relief and of hope.

Erwin heard this cry, stood before the boy and questioned, saw a bloodlust and violence spark in his gaze, saw a spirit of flame and heat and power that rivaled his own. Erwin heard his deepest desire and felt it quake within his chest. What fear and confusion and mistrust that protected him for years against all enemies fell quickly. Years of ignorance and battle for knowledge finally placed an answer right at his feet, and Erwin would be a fool among fools if he had not recognized the opportunity before him.

The Commander of the Thirteenth Legion and leader of the Survey Corps saw the seeds of freedom and the future in the eyes of an angry, frightened, reckless fifteen-year-old boy.

The decision to bring him in so close was reckless, presumptuous even. He knew that making such a rash decision was sure to gain him unusual glances and worried attention. But, Eren Jaeger donned a mantle so naturally on his shoulders that it surprised Erwin, who had struggled to fit into it for years. Outside perspective be damned; he was not going to play it safe now. For two years since Erwin sacrificed everything and anything that could be sacrificed for the sake of getting one more victory, and one more victory after that. He unleashed rivers and thunderclouds and rain of his own making, all for the opportunity to know, and understand, and finally, conquer.

And then... at long last... After an immense final conflict that swept through their world... the Titans and their makers were finally defeated.

They had done it.

Humanity was free…but at a cost.

There was always a cost. There would always be new shouts and cries that would change the symphony of their songs and dreams. A new cry had come.

This time, it seemed, that payment would not come with the spilling of blood. No, it came with swift and tall orders written in permanent ink. Such orders were written in impressive ways, simple and robust and promising security, safety, freedom from fear. What remained of the war-torn survivors saw such an order and bowed their heads, too tired and relieved to think of it other than a small cost to pay. Not Erwin. Erwin saw it plain and clear as the blood he had poured over his hands and burned at his skin.

Humanity was finally free from the Titans. 

And yet this new cry had rendered them all mute. Humanity would continue to pay with their obedience and their subservience.

"Erwin."

Commander Erwin stared at the document in his hands, limbs tight and eyebrows furrowed into a deep groove over his eyes. He should have seen this coming.

Straightening his shoulders, Erwin turned and faced his second in command, Hanji Zoe. Her eyes were shielded by a flash of light reflected off the surface of her spectacles and her lips were pulled into a tight line. The air between and around them was thick and stifling. Neither of them dared to breathe too hard, neither dared to lessen the blow. The feeling of "so close" was a weight on their lungs that weighed selfishly and shoved everything else through their fingers like sand.

"What news from the Queen?" Erwin's voice was collected, poised. Cold.

"Historia Reiss has been successfully extracted from the Capitol." The reply was firm, just as composed as his. Erwin took note when Hanji tilted her chin to fix him a look, saw a flicker of wryness ghost through her features. "Just in time as luck would have it."

He nodded slowly, Adam's apple bobbing up and down tensely against his throat. "Where is she now?"

"Levi's team has managed to get her as far as Trost for now. Considering what needs to be done to ensure her safety, I'm sure they're laying low and as far from the radar of Zackley's spies." Hanji pursed her lips for a moment, her chestnut-colored eyes falling back over the document in Erwin's hands.

Softly, she added, "Is this really what we've come to?"

Erwin followed her gaze and swallowed once more. "One more price to pay," he replied smoothly, placing the document over his desk, fingers pressing over the surface of the wood. "We've survived this much after the Trials, we just have to keep doing so until the time is right."

"And when will that be, Erwin?" The words escaped Hanji's throat in a growl, the sound of her fist colliding harshly with his desk echoed loudly. Erwin did not flinch, but he met her gaze just as quickly. There was a fury in her eyes mixing with wild irritation that made the seriousness in her statement gleam like the edge of a knife.

"One more year? Two? How long do you expect us to bow our heads for the sake of—what does it say—of security? For how long do we have to keep sacrificing—" Hanji's words came to an abrupt stop, turning her chin away to gaze at anything but him.

Her wild, auburn hair fell like a curtain over her face, obscuring her profile and causing an unexpected lump of pain to form in Erwin's throat. He knew exactly what she meant. It was easy to see that the trembling in her balled fist wasn't out of noble outrage, but of something deeper. Hanji had always been able to feel so deeply. It was one of the reasons he trusted her above anyone else.

"Do you believe in me, Hanji Zoe?" he asked.

When she looked back up at him, the reticence in her gaze was gone. The pain, the anguish, the complete sense of being robbed of freedom once again filled her so openly that he worried she would break from the pressure. Instead, Hanji gave him a nod and pushed away from his desk, ready to fall silent. Erwin couldn't hold back from allowing his own emotions show then.

"We're not finished," Erwin murmured, thick eyebrows furrowing over his azure eyes. "Not yet."

Hanji's face pinched for a fraction of a moment before she gave him another nod, her long bangs whipping over her face before she gave him an assured look. There would be no tears from her today.

"Very well, Commander," she said, smiling pithily at him. "I'll trust your judgment, as I always do."

With a salute, she did an about-face and marched off, footsteps clattering rhythmically and firmly on the wooden floor. Erwin watched as she walked, mouth setting into a thin line that shook slightly.

"Tell you what, though, Erwin," she said with a final wave as she reached the door. "I hope you've got a good speech prepared because there's no way in hell Levi's going to take this well."

A soft huff escaped through his nose, the image her comment painted bringing an unexpected mirth into his chest.

"Oh, he'll be furious." Erwin agreed with a rueful smile. Hanji let out a small snicker, but the sound was so empty, so sad that it hurt just as bad as her crying. With a final glance, she moved and walked out the door, leaving the Commander to sit in deafening silence.

* * *

 

_March 854_

* * *

 

The news spread out everywhere in a matter of  _days_.

"It's bad enough they have to draft us and our kin into the military," a churlish voice erupted over a boisterous tavern hall. The chatter and outraged uproar fell to listen to the voice of a man with a stout body and hard expression. "We're being forced to breed, like—what—dogs??"

A wave of disagreeing voices rose. "Cattle?!" the man exclaimed, the wave came stronger.

"This here Mandate is a load of bull if you ask me!" He roared and those who agreed joined their voices with him.

"No one is asking you," another voice rose and this time, it belonged to a smaller man, one with a tired expression and curled lip. "Or did you forget, Brom, how quickly we came to falling extinct?"

Brom's mouth parted with disdain, "That's only words in the newspapers, Tobias. You honestly believe everything you read?"

"Oho," challenged Tobias, crossing his arms and leaning on his chair. "You're one of those now? Words on newspapers? You're a dimwit, Brom, and if you aren't then you wouldn't forget the events of two years ago—Now, I'll speak my mind!" Tobias cried when another wave threatened to silence his voice. The wave crashed as the people around stopped to listen.

"Not all of you were in Mitras, and that is all well, but I was close enough to have seen them. I saw the many hordes of Titans of which the likes would've rendered you all scared like frightened rabbits. I saw the horizon burn with fires and felt the distant rumblings that shook the earth and tore Wall Sina down. This village survived on sheer luck alone, and the people that died were no simple amounts of lives that fell to sickness."

Tobias paused to fix Brom a hard stare, "Thousands died in that Conflict, Brom. Don't you pretend that didn't happen, because it did, and you spit on the dead for hoping to deny it!"

Another wave rose and people began to stir and rise, Brom's face flushed pink with shame.

"I don’t deny it!" He called, and the roar fell back down. "But we've always lost numbers because of the efforts made by the Corps and the Garrison on their crusades to battle the Titans. Now, they draft us unless we're with the Guild or Union, order us under pain of death to join and now they call for us not in committed families to relinquish ourselves to fill out these Survey of Compatibility for—and I may not be a scholar but I can read just fine—the assured survival of our species? What the hell does that even mean?!"

"And what about those of us under Oath?" Another man shouted. His fingers burned pale as he clenched them around a necklace of gold and bearing the proud insignias of the walls. "Are we to become godless and abandon our callings to subject our bodies to this government's whims and fancies?!"

"You'd think that being in the military would be a noble pursuit," a woman spoke, sighing and taking a drink from a mug of ale. "This drafting is no better opportunity than to fatten us up and treat us like breeding animals."

"Be that as it may," Tobias spoke once more, his expression darkened. "We have no choice anymore. We risk extinction, does that not resound with you all?"

The voices rose and crowded over themselves, gathering more volume as opinions clashed and mentalities were questioned. Among the chaos of words and voices, a small group of cloaked individuals rose from a table and carefully stole away into the dying day, leaving without attracting attention or inquiry. If anyone noticed, they didn't bring it up. Given the topic of the night, it wasn't long before others joined the movement and left for their own homes.

The three cloaked individuals headed quickly and silently toward the nearby stables, securing their horses without a word and taking off with a few efficient signals and a fluid formation. Hooves echoed around the squad until clouds choked the night sky and drenched them in moments.

Steam erupted from a horse's maw, the sound bursting and fading in the air as Captain Levi's steed pounded its hooves hard over the earth. Rain fell in icy torrents, slapping harshly against the short man's narrow stare and the skin stretched over a clenched jaw. He chanced a glance at the duo riding behind him, their faces scrunched up in exhaustion as they followed their Captain's increasingly fast pace.

"Captain!" The first spoke up and Levi didn't have to wait for long for her to speak. Sasha Braus's voice was seeking, pleading, for some kind of knowledge that would set her at ease. "Please, sir, why is this happening? Why now?"

"Is this because of the attempt on Historia's life?" Connie Springer asked a moment after. "Why would the government pass such a law, now?"

"I'm sure the answer is much more complicated than what I can say," was Levi's response. In the distance, rays of orange sunlight burst from behind the fading pull of mist and flash rain clouds. "But we managed to save Historia, and that's what matters."

"Is it true that only people in the military will be the only ones to do this?" Sasha asked again and this time, Levi could not answer. He knew she knew the answer and Sasha did not speak again until their horses took them closer to a familiar path. The path to the Survey Corps reestablished castle within the reconquered lands of Wall Maria.

When the trio finally arrived at the Castle, the tension among soldiers was stifling and difficult to process. The large gates of the fortress were already opened to permit the returning soldiers in. Cool spring breezes pulled at the large flags at the corners, the emblem of the Wings of Freedom shimmering beneath the late afternoon light.

"Captain Levi!" the voice boomed towards the soldiers once their horses slowed to a trot passed the entrance. A couple of young cadets approached Connie and Sasha's steeds, reaching hands to gather reigns to lead the animals to the stables. Levi rode on toward the stables himself, nodding to the Sergeant who had called his name.

"Connie, Sasha, report immediately to Keiji and get your equipment checked in," Levi ordered over his shoulder, meeting his subordinates awaiting gazes with a firm stare. "Once you're done getting the shit off your boots, complete the reports of the mission to give to Erwin."

"Yes, sir." the two chorused before sliding off their saddles and taking off.

Levi turned just in time to see the sergeant stop feet away from him, a proud salute pounded into the man's chest. Levi nearly snorted. It was easy to spot the strain in the man's posture, just as easily as spotting grime on a pair of rusted swords.

"Miles," Levi greeted.

"Commander Erwin and Major Hanji Zoe are awaiting your presence in the Commander's Office," Sergeant Miles announced. A frown tugged over Levi's eyebrows before he gave the man a single nod and slid off his horse. He couldn't say he wasn't expecting this. Levi had been in the middle of the mission when the Mandate had been made public, there was no doubt this would be the topic of the conversation when he met both Erwin and Hanji.

Damn.

"Am I allowed at least to take a bath?" Levi inquired flatly. The sergeant floundered, mouth opening and closing as he tried to stammer out a concise reply. "Calm down, Miles. I was joking."

"Oh, very good, sir…" Miles replied uneasily. The raven-haired Captain was already taking long strides passed him as he headed toward the main doors of the Castle. He was feet away from the main doors when a young cadet rushed to his side, holding a series of cloth and towels in his arms. Levi accepted one of the rags with a flick of a wrist, already tugging off his drenched and dirtied cape to press into the young soldier's hands.

"How was the mission, sir?" The cadet asked, looking mighty nervous as Levi paused over the door to lean against the rain chilled stone. Levi gave a gruff noise as he busied himself with wiping mud and dirt from his shoes.

"A success, then?"

"Yes," Levi replied before passing him the dirtied cloth. There was no lightness in Levi's voice despite the glad news. "It was a success. Take my cloak to my room, I'll take care of cleaning it."

"Yes, sir." The cadet scurried off with a quick salute.

When Levi entered past the doors, he was quick to ignore the glances and salutes of passing soldiers and staffs-people, yet he could not ignore the way the air tasted. This 'Mandate' had put the entire Castle into a spirit of profound unease. He could see it in the way soldiers would huddle to speak, pausing only to take orders to 'return to work' from Levi. He could see it in how expressions looked tight with distraught lines, the way eyes stared ahead in sunken stares and hollow gazes.

Marching toward Erwin's office was nearly nerve-wracking, the air was so tense. Levi was glad to escape the thicker parts of the atmosphere. It was not unlike returning from a failed expedition; in all honesty, Levi had believed that such a tension would not fall over their heads again.

He had been wrong.

"Come in," Erwin's voice was certain and strong after Levi's knuckles rapped over the door. Pushing through, the short man was faced with the solemn expressions of his superiors and long-time war partners.

Erwin stood just feet away from the nearest window, his arms at rest behind his back and making him appear as taut as a bowstring. Sunset fell into the room in harsh rays, casting contrasting shadows from Erwin's body to Hanji's tight figure leaning against the immense desk on the other side of the room. "Levi, welcome back."

"Yeah," Levi replied shortly, crossing his arms as soon as he was within the office. "I would say it is nice to be back, but it looks like we've had our asses ripped in half out there." Erwin didn't look amused by the callous comment. Not like Levi expected him to. Glancing to the right, Levi noticed Hanji standing by, her chin dropped and gaze turned firmly away. Damn.

"You're aware of the latest law, I take it." Erwin proceeded, facing the two officers directly. Levi nodded.

"I only know the basic information. My squad heard the news when we stopped in Tapir for a quick weapons check."

Erwin's eyes flashed seriously, "Is Historia safe?"

"Jean and Armin are bringing her back as we speak. We had to split up some time after we escaped Mitras." Levi's eyes then narrowed, "Lucky for us we didn't encounter any of Zackley's spies on the way out. But, you probably guessed that already."

Erwin's face stiffened as he considered the information. Levi didn't have to search deep to know that he was right.

"Zackley would be a fool to attempt to kill off the Queen right now…" he said, azure eyes falling for a moment in consideration. "Timing was on our side this time."

There was a moment of silence, dragged on by a shared mulling of the new circumstance. In this silence, Levi's expression softened for a fraction.

"Hanji…" The woman glanced up from her stoic posture, glancing into his face with half-hearted curiosity.

"What news of Eren?" the inquiry was a heavy one. Hanji's eyes slid shut as she sighed.

"No change," Hanji said grimly. "He continues to sleep, though his vitals remain consistent. However, given how long it's been…"

"There's really only a matter of time," Levi concluded with a flat voice. Hanji's eyes sobered to one of a pained agreement. She gave a silent nod. With a sigh, Levi shifted his weight on his feet before looking back at Erwin.

"So, what's the plan?"

Erwin blinked curiously, "Plan?"

"With the Mandate," Levi said with a jerk of his chin. "Or, did you call me in to bounce off ideas?"

Erwin's lips parted, his face widening into a look of half-surprise. The man's blue eyes jumped toward Hanji's, mirroring a stunned reaction and even some hesitant approach swirled between them. The exchange was not missed on Levi, and the shorter man gave the two a glare that belied the uncertainty now pooling in his stomach.

"What?" he barked.

"Levi," Erwin began, taking a step toward the desk and dropping his arms to his sides. "We're agreed that we are to discuss this new law."

"Right…" Levi said slowly.

Erwin took in a breath, "But we are not fighting this."

Levi's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and his hands fell to his sides as he stared incredulously at the duo ahead of him. Levi glanced between the two of them before he drawled, "This is a fucking joke, right?"

"We're not fighting this, Levi," Hanji intervened. "As much as I hate this sudden law… I agree with Erwin. There's no point in trying to turn it around."

"The fact is, this Mandate is a logical step," Erwin continued. "Consider where we are now since the events of the Final Conflict. Consider how we've had to pull Historia from the courts and bring her into hiding… We're not facing an enemy with swords anymore, Levi. This time, we have no choice but to obey the Mandate… if we are to make sure that Humanity will survive."

A rare expression of shock flashed over Levi's unguarded face, making him look baffled as his narrow eyes jumped back and forth between Commander and Squad Leader. Suddenly, Levi's eyes went black with rage, his mouth sliced into a thin line of disdain before parting to expose teeth.

"Erwin, you better not be telling me that I am going to have to sire brats into this shitty world because if you do I will shove my foot up your ass."

To his credit, Erwin didn't take Levi's vulgar words with an offense. Erwin's eyebrows dipped over his eyes, making the older man's face turn grave.

"I'm afraid that we have no other choice."

"The  _fuck_  does that mean we have no other choice?" Levi snarled, hands clenching into fists. "You want to enslave what left of humanity to make sure we don't die off? Where did your balls go?"

Erwin straightened to his full height, eyes burning dark with fierce devotion. "What I want can't happen because we have lost that chance to a gamble, Levi. Believe me when I say that if we are to survive from more than just extinction, we have to follow the mandate. We've long relinquished our capacity to think for the sake of individual being. The Titans may be gone but the enemy remains, and I'd like for my balls to no longer be in that bastard's grasp."

"So what," Levi snapped taking a few steps closer to seize him with a black glower. "We bow our heads, hoping we get scratched behind the ears? I did not watch good people die under my watch so that we end up falling behind with our tails between our fucking legs."

"It is the only option we have now," Erwin stated.

"Aside from  _what_ , Erwin?"

"Aside from losing  _everything_  we've fought for up until now!"

The words fell like anvils on Levi and Hanji's ears, and they saw Erwin Smith nearly falter beneath them. The sight alone made what final arguments Levi had to disappear with a thick swallow.

"I would much rather ensure that Zackley thinks of us as his dogs than to find a reason to wipe us out completely. It is literally very little from keeping us from that fate, Levi. I will not risk losing that for a single moment of defiance."

The sunlight in the room faded slowly to a dim version of itself, shifting with the push of scattered clouds and the promise of more rain.

He was right. Levi knew this much. He knew that there was nothing they could do right now. They were being forced under a new cage… after they had sacrificed everything. It was then that Levi couldn't help but think that perhaps it was still a good thing that Eren was so far gone. He didn't know how Eren would react if he found out his sacrifice had been in vain.

"The people will look to us," Erwin said after a moment. "You especially, Levi. As Humanity's Strongest. Those that remain will look to you for strength, which is why we cannot pause now. You are no longer just the strongest, my friend. You are one of the very last."

In a final moment of disgust, Levi let out a frustrated scoff, turning away abruptly to stare off into a corner of the office. He was torn. Torn from stomping out from the office, jumping on his horse and riding off into unknown lands, and torn from turning and slamming his fist into Erwin's face. For years, he had trusted this man's judgment, as it had saved his life in several cases and in many crucial points. While many of Erwin's orders had been steep in the past, none could ever compare to this one.

With another breath, Levi whirled around, prepared to snap and spit something venomous through his teeth only to have the venom sour in his tongue. He had been prepared to see Erwin in his stoic posture, prepared to take angry words like a tested steel wall, instead he saw how Erwin's eyes fell over Hanji and how Hanji gazed back—the level of pain in their eyes could only work to silence Levi further.

Levi knew that there would be powerful repercussions to this new Mandate, knew that there would be many who would suffer (needlessly) because of it. It was in that moment, that the short man saw how much suffering this Mandate was causing.

He could see it in the way the tension between Erwin and Hanji hung suspended as they stared into each other's eyes, then fell when they forcefully turned their gazes away.

_"This world is cruel, Levi."_

The memory stabbed into his heart viciously, and Levi couldn't find it in him to feel any more anger to direct at anyone save himself. This Mandate meant something more personal as well…

If there was anything he could have done… it was too late now.

_This world is cruel…_

Hours later, Levi sat on the edge of his bed and fought the urge through tear through the moist towel over his shower drenched hair. In his hands, he held a copy of one of the very surveys that would be handed out when Erwin made the inevitable announcement. His gun-metal blue eyes could do nothing else but skim with practiced apathy over the letters, taking in the words and pretending they weren't stones being stacked into a very tall wall. Levi's fingers slid over the edges of the packet in his hands, turning page after page with half-hearted loathing and an insipid wish to toss the damn thing into an open flame.

 **_Survey of Compatibility_ ** _  
By Order of the Supreme Commander, Darius Zackley, all capable soldiers, and officers of Her Majesty's Military (retired or not) are hereby mandated to answer these questions to the truest of natures, in order to ensure maximum results. In the event of being already engaged in an intimate relationship (of the opposite sex), soldiers can be exempt from filling out the Survey of Compatibility if—and only if—they intend to file an Engagement Document (attached separately) specifying the desire to become unified to another capable soldier. Any use of the Engagement Document to defy, deceive, and/or avoid the laws of the Mandate will lead to immediate incarceration and/or execution._

_All Surveys must be completed within a period of (six) weeks from the moment of receiving said documentation. Estimated time in resulting in a match is approx. 1-2 week(s)._

_Question 1…_

Six weeks to complete this damn noose and an added week for pulling it on snug and taking the plunge…

Levi let out a soft snort as he thumbed through the list of extensive questions, noting how a military identification number was required above all else. His hand stopped flicking through the pages when his eyes beheld the single form titled: The Engagement Document.

Tired and sunken gray eyes blinked slowly as they took in the script before falling over the first lines.

_Please write in a legible script the names of both soldiers entering this engagement…_

His hand moved without warning, his finger sliding up on the edge of the paper. A hiss yanked through Levi's teeth when he felt the edge slice into the digit, tracing a thin line through the skin. A bead of crimson collected over the small cut, taunting Levi with its color and reminding him far too much of a familiar scarf and the eyes that belonged to its owner.

Sticking his finger through his teeth, Levi gave the small wound a fierce suck that made the bitter taste of iron burst over his tongue. Even long after the blood clotted, the sting refused to ebb.

Levi tossed aside the packet of mechanical words and carefully worded warnings before sinking into his mattress. Lifting a war-calloused hand to his chest, the aging Captain rubbed at the space near the bottom of his left ribcage, lips curling at the pressure. It didn't matter how much time would pass, it seemed…

With a sigh, Levi pressed his fingers against his ribs once before dropping his hand toward his forehead.

So many people sacrificed, so many names that had been taken without remorse or hesitance…

And now he had no choice but to bow down to another pointed finger and a slap in his face to the dirt. Once, Levi knew that all he needed to fight back was his own strength and abilities, but this was a new battle he did not know how to fight against. Not for the first time did Levi find himself brooding within the dark of his empty room, wondering if he should have just given in to the force that took so many of his friends. If he could have survived the force that took from him his heart, placed it in the hands of one woman who hid behind ice-cold stares and a crimson cloth.

He wondered if things would be different now if he had never fallen in love with Mikasa Ackerman.

* * *

 

It took another two days before Jean and Armin arrived with Historia in tow, the latter hidden within a long green hood and cloak. The former Queen stared emptily into Captain Levi's face when he met the returned soldiers within a meeting room in the castle. Sasha and Connie had accompanied their Captain in meeting the newly returned trio, exchanging hugs and soft greetings that could have been warmer if the situation were different.

"Were you followed?" Levi asked once they had managed to sit down to talk about the mission report. Jean shook his head, eyebrows dipping over his eyes as he focused his attention on their leader.

"Armin rode with Historia to ensure she had protection, I rode some ways behind to make sure we weren't attracting stragglers. For the most part, the trip back was uneventful."

Levi's eyebrow arched, "For the most part?"

They fell silent, then. Levi didn't need to ask to clarify, the looks on their faces were not unlike the looks that all the soldiers in the castle now carried. With a heavy sigh, Levi leaned back on his chair and traced the tips of his fingers over the lip of his mug. "So, now you know what we have to do next."

"Captain," Armin spoke up, his voice raspy with exhaustion yet firm with conviction. "Does the Commander have any information on what can be done…about this Mandate?"

Levi shook his head, flicking a stray strand of black hair from his eyes. "No."

"What does that mean?" Connie asked, lurching forward on his seat and pressing his fists over the top of the table. "Are we not doing anything or are we waiting for a time to strike?"

A look of anticipation built and flushed through the group's expressions, each turning to face their leader with some array of hope and varying levels of intensities. Levi took turns meeting their gazes, wishing to convey some kind of plan that would spare them this latest issue. But he knew there was nothing, so Levi shook his head.

"The only thing we are doing is doing as we are told."

No one seemed to have expected this and judging by how they stared at him, the group appeared to be waiting for him to announce it was just another joke. It was always hard to tell when the Captain was being funny… however, Levi made no such move to contradict his words with a candid jest and the atmosphere sobered before it could even hope to lighten up.

This time, it was Historia who slammed her fists on the table, startling the group to look at her. Her expression was brutal and vicious, unwilling to sit back and take such an order.

"I will not believe Commander Erwin would expect us to roll over and expose ourselves like this. I will not, Captain. So long as I am alive there is always an opportunity to fight back."

"With who, your majesty?" Levi interrupted, meeting her gaze with flattened exasperation. "Your subjects? Those same loyal subjects that sat back and did nothing as attempt after attempt was made on your life?"

"Things were changing!" Historia insisted through clenched teeth, "People may have fought against me in the past, but I was making changes."

Connie spoke up, golden eyes narrowed angrily. "Yeah, well, all those changes got us nowhere because last I checked Parliament wasn't exactly clambering up to defend you when Marquis Randolf called for that fucking vote."

Historia blinked at him with surprise, her lips parting as if she had not expected him to speak up against her.

"Vote?" Armin inquired, looking as out of the loop as everyone else. Levi replied with a hand pressed against his eyes.

"It was a vote called during the Trials. None of you were there because it had been long after Erwin and the Corps had been acquitted from being involved in the failed coup. All I was told about it was that members of Parliament had come to a unanimous decision on whether or not it was safe now to expand outward."

"What was the decision?" Sasha asked.

Levi's hand trailed from his face, his expression sour, "That it wasn't."

"And when the matter of your leadership came up, no one said shit about how many things you were fixing as queen," Connie concluded bitterly.

At Historia's stunned silence, Connie's eyes hardened into stones, "I was there, Historia. Commander Erwin told me to keep an eye out for you and to report back."

"The Trials have nothing to do with this, Connie!" she snapped back, seemingly regaining her voice. "That vote didn't call for a favor, it called for order!"

"Not according to everyone else," he muttered back. Historia bristled, pale hands clenching hard and Levi spotted the desire to lunge in her eyes before Connie did.

Levi interjected, "I have no doubt that you are still capable of changing everything." Historia turned to look at him, cherry lips thinning to a harsh line. "But the fact is, there are now those who believe the Monarchy is no longer relevant in this new world. Especially, after the whole Fake King shit went down."

Historia gave an impatient huff, "That's exactly why—"

"—Regardless of the memories in your blood or even your right to rule, you are still human." Levi cut in shortly. "We can't fight against these new laws with swords, Historia."

"So we will be fighting back?" Sasha piped in, her eyes wide with hope.

Levi met Sasha's gaze with a frown, "No. We won't."

"It's the best logical choice," Armin intervened, earning a series of shocked expressions from the others. His expression was narrowed in a pensive pinch, "I can understand why the Commander would make the choice to follow."

"Armin…?" Historia breathed, looking as though she had been slapped and pushed down. That took Levi by surprise. Armin did not look at her, instead, he faced everyone else with that same look of determination that Erwin had when Levi had met with him.

"We are inches from extinction," Armin explained. "Yes, we have survived and the Titans are gone… but the events of the Final Conflict nearly wiped out mankind completely. There is only a fraction left of what we had before, and those who are strong enough to work are drafted into the military if they are not employed by the Merchant's Guild or the Farmer's Union…" He trailed off, allowing his words to sink in.

"At this point, we need stability, we need order. I believe this Mandate is evil, but I also believe it may be a necessary evil if we are to survive these next few years—if at all."

No one else said anything after Armin finished and all eyes fell over to the table. There was anger, there was disdain, and there was dejection… the level of heavy-heartedness was so strong that there would be very little that could break the tension. Levi dared not utter a word and it seemed they all would do the same until Historia rose to her feet without warning.

The sound of her chair scraping against the stone beneath made them all glance up at her, and her expression was so calculatingly flat it made Levi's stomach clench uncertainly. With a final nod, Historia turned and stormed off, flaxen hair flying behind her in a fury. Armin shot to his feet as soon as she turned away, blue eyes crinkled and openly despairing, yet he remained still as he watched her go. When the door slammed shut behind her, Armin remained with his gaze at the door, shoulders slumping.

"Armin," Jean spoke, voice soft with concern.

"It's nothing," Armin said before returning to his seat. Levi watched the exchange with an unreadable expression. After a rather awkward silence, Jean faced their Captain once again.

"Is Mikasa not joining us?" he sighed.

"She's watching over Eren," Sasha saved Levi from replying.

Jean turned to look at the girl before his lips thinned into a line. "Ah…" he muttered. "…Any news?"

"No," Levi answered, this time, returning his gaze over to his cup, tea lukewarm. "You're all dismissed. Erwin will be making the official announcement tomorrow, so get some rest."

"Sir." The group chorused before they began to file out of the room, leaving their Captain alone to his drink and to think about what was to come.

"Captain," Connie's voice came from behind the shorter man. Levi gave him a hum in response. "This is bullshit."

Leaning back against his chair, the Captain lifted his cup by the edges before taking in a long swig of bitter black tea. When he swallowed, he let out a soft sigh, "Yeah."

A few moments later the door slid shut, leaving Levi to sit in deafening silence.

Jean was concerned and for good reason. Despite knowing how much he probably should stay clear; the young soldier couldn't help but straighten his shoulders as he marched in the familiar direction of the medical wing. For a moment, his eyes wandered over the halls of the castle, remembering how filthy the stone had been when they had first arrived years ago.

The Survey Corps Castle in the lands near the edge of Wall Maria was much larger than its Wall Rose predecessor. Considering the fact that for a full century, they had been stationed closest to uncharted territory, the building was much more impressive. When they had first arrived, Jean had been pretty astounded by its size, taking note of Levi's nostalgic expression before he began shouting orders to clean. After that, Jean had vaguely remembered wishing the castle to shrink.

Once they had become more situated within its confines (and he had been told he would be able to have his own room), his opinion on the stronghold improved.

It had been impressive, yes, but also on the fact that despite the fortress being lost to Titan conquest for nearly ten years, its structural integrity remained intact. They had expected to find ruins, not a standing structure. A few towers had fallen here and there, but overall it had remained strong. Jean had been told sometime after that it was due to the fact that Erwin Smith (after being recently made Commander) issued an order to all squads to abandon the Castle and make haste toward the walls whilst civilians were evacuated.

It had been a smart move in the end.

Since their success, the castle had been permitted a chance to be renovated and within months the place was up and running like a smooth and well-oiled military engine.

Footsteps echoing around him, Jean eventually found his way within the sterilized smell that came from the Hospital Wing and medical offices.

"Hey, Jean," a cadet called, and Jean turned to face him with a small smile of acknowledgment.

"Alex," the taller soldier greeted. The boy nodded back, black bowl-cut hair shifting over his ears at the movement, his gray eyes watched him through a half-lidded expression that hadn't done the kid any favors in making friends. "You're looking good."

"I take it the mission was a success," Alex inquired and he was taking a couple of steps away from a desk to fall in stride with Jean. "Which would be a huge cause for celebration if it wasn't for the Mandate."

Jean's lips twitched into a frown, "Yeah. But, I doubt we'd be celebrating even if the Mandate wasn't a thing. That's still classified information, dude. The mission, that is."

The wiry soldier shrugged, half-smiling, "I'm only as good as my team."

"Tell your team to stop snooping around," Jean exhaled with some mirth. "Is Major Hanji nearby?"

"She's in the lab," Alex replied, his footsteps slowing to a stop just as Jean began to turn down a separate hall. "Mikasa Ackerman is in there too…"

Jean gave him a nod before his expression turned somber, "Has she left the room at all?"

"Afraid not," Alex shook his head. "I've not been allowed to know much, but there haven't been any changes."

No surprise there. Jean lifted a hand to wave at the kid, disappointed. "Thanks, Al. I'll see you around."

It was easy to locate the lab, having made the trip countless times, Jean tried to keep his head objective the closer he approached the single door. Officially speaking, there was nothing but an officer's office and a testing lab in the room. On paper, it belonged to Hanji Zoe, and on paper, it just said it was her place to focus on work, which wasn't a lie, per se.

Few people were aware of the real secret behind the door because few people were allowed inside. The reason why Alex was aware was that of a mission his squad had been involved in several months ago. A mission that required the extraction of some very serious drugs and medicine and the boy had connections that benefitted them at the time. Those drugs saved Eren life and gained Alex Van Gocken Jean's trust and friendship.

Jean rapped his fist at the wood of the door, waiting for the inevitable order to approach and enter. Sure enough, he heard Hanji's voice through the wood.

"Who is it?"

"Senior Cadet Jean Kirschstein," Jean announced.

"Ah, come on in, Jean." The door gave a soft squeak as Jean pushed it open and he was met by Hanji's familiar smiling face. In her hands, she held a mug of something steaming and bitter smelling.

"Good to see you, Jean!" Hanji greeted jovially. "I trust the mission went well!"

"It did," Jean replied, but his eyes were already trailing in the direction of a long white fabric divider in the room. Sunlight from the windows behind it did enough to show the shadows behind the curtain and he could already spot Mikasa's familiar figure sitting not far away. "Historia is safe."

"Good, very good!" Hanji praised just as she swiveled on her chair and beckoned him forward. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Hanji," Jean began, cutting to the quick. "Are there any changes?"

Hanji's lips curled up in a solemn smile, her chin turning as she shook her head. "Eren sleeps, Jean. You could have just asked Armin after he left here too, he would've told you the same thing."

"I wanted to come here in person," Jean admitted. "See how he's doing for myself."

"Well, I won't stop you," Hanji said with a wave. "I'm sure Mikasa will be happy to see you, too."

Jean gave the woman a somewhat uncertain nod before facing the divider more directly. In that entire time, Mikasa had made no move to react, Jean could only heave a sigh before he walked toward the curtain and pulled it back.

His eyes fell over Eren's body first—as they always did—and he felt his chest tighten painfully when he took note of his friend's physique. Eren had been slim back when they had first met, muscles thin and wiry with malnutrition, his cheekbones just barely protruding. Years of being well fed in the military gave him a healthier girth and glow about his cheeks. Now, after having been asleep for months…well it was fair to say that Eren didn't look so well.

Worse… he looked like he was just days from dying.

His skin hugged his bones tightly, and the short brown hair had grown to ragged strands that nearly touched his lips at the front. Mikasa had done a fair job in brushing the locks away from his face, but Jean wondered if that really made a difference. Beside the cot was a long metal pole that held up two bags of clear liquid, dual plastic cables conjoined from both to slide down toward the unconscious boy's arm. Medical tape covered the area the cables dug within his veins.

He remembered Armin explaining it was the only way they could get any nutrients into Eren's body, considering he hasn't shown signs of waking anytime soon.

"He's doing better," Mikasa's soft voice nearly startled Jean into looking at her, eyes taking in her cropped black hair, blood red muffler, simple civilians clothes resting over the slopes of her body.

"He looks better," Jean said, but the lie was as easy to catch as hers. Mikasa's head bobbed once before she turned in her seat to face Jean. Dark circles pressed beneath her eyes, making them appear sunken and tired. Jean felt his fists clench when she caught the indignation in his eyes and turned away. "You don't."

"I'm fine, Jean."

"When was the last time you slept?" he said sharply. "Or even ate, for that matter? Your clothes are practically hanging off your body."

"Are you going to start threatening me, too?" her voice was monotonous, uncaring.

"You're an idiot for not listening to Armin, of all people." Jean snapped. "I get that you feel responsible for Eren, but that doesn't mean you need to kill yourself in the process. You're lucky that the Captain's busy, otherwise I'd have him come here to drag you off."

He didn't miss the way her shoulders flinched at the mention of Levi, how her fingers knotted into the fabric of her skirt. "You know, I might just go bring him here anyway," Jean said coldly, already making up his mind in following through with his words. "You won't listen to anyone else anyway."

He felt her hand wrap around his wrist lightning fast, giving him a firm tug that ceased all another movement. Jean glanced back down, unable to see Mikasa's eyes through her dark fringe.

"Don't…" she said softly, her shoulders tight with anxious energy. "Don't call him here… I'm sorry, Jean."

A slow sigh blew out Jean's nostrils, making them flare as he felt his heart give. Mikasa let him go a moment later and she turned back to look at Eren's unmoving body.

"You know, we did pretty well out there without you," Jean said after another tense silence, his lips quirking up in a half-smile.

Mikasa glanced back at him, eyes blinking curiously. "I'm glad," she said. "Historia's safe, then?"

"Yeah," Jean said, this time with a little more vigor. "You should've seen Armin when he saw her. That kid's face lit up like a flare."

Mikasa's lips moved, shaping a small smile that gave Jean some hope. He had wondered if the old in-joke between them would be enough to give him a reaction—it was small, but it was enough for him. "You still think he has a crush on her?"

"No doubt about it now," Jean said, chuckling. "You and Connie owe me money."

Mikasa let out a half-snort, a weak sound that made Jean's smile falter a bit. "That wasn't the deal, Jean. She has to return his feelings, at the very least."

Jean's grin broadened. "Armin's charmed his way from getting us killed hundreds of times under dire circumstances, you think he can't charm the Queen of Humanity?"

"We'll see," Mikasa replied and for a moment the atmosphere was a little lighter. The tall soldier said nothing after that, his eyes returning to look at Eren's sleeping face before feeling a more serious question sober in his chest. He probably knew better than to ask, but he also knew very well how she would react. It was a long shot.

"How much longer is this silence going to last between you and Levi, Mikasa?" Jean asked quietly.

Sure enough, whatever lightness there was in the air crashed to the ground. Golden eyes watched with rapt attention, Jean took in the way Mikasa stiffened, the way her jaw clenched tight beneath the crop of her hair. Without much warning, Mikasa stood up from her chair and turned toward the divider. She said nothing as she walked away, brushing past the divider and Jean's stiff body. Her footsteps were the only sound that announced her exit, swiftly followed by the sound of the door sliding open then slamming shut.

"Probably not the best thing to bring up, Jean." Hanji sighed from the other side of the divider. Jean smirked softly.

"Probably not," he agreed as he took a step toward the chair and sat down with a sharp exhale. "But, it got her to go outside."

Hanji fell silent shortly after, unable to argue after that. It wasn't the first time Jean had done it, and she doubted it would be the last.

* * *

 

Footsteps echoing in her ears, Mikasa tried to keep her mind blank. Trying to focus on the way the sunlight brightened the hallways but not the atmosphere. There was far too much heaviness in the air, dragging down already tired faces and pulling at the patience of those who had been promised so much. She didn't really care much for where she was headed, just that she pulled herself away from those who knew her enough to approach her.

When Armin had appeared earlier, with his long blond hair pulled back out of his face and expression hard—no doubt that he had just gotten out of the meeting with the squad—he had only given her a small smile that didn't last. His sharp eyes had always picked at the details without mercy, gathering more of a story than words could string together.

"Mikasa, what are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, Armin."

He had not been happy at her dull attempt at humor and it had only been a matter of time before he glared down at the way her clothes hung over her skin—looser, no doubt—and noticing the bags of sleeplessness clinging to her eyes like morbid shadows. She didn't want to deal with Armin's expected speech/lecture on how she should be taking care of herself just as much as she's caring for Eren. It wasn't the first time that she's sat back in silence while Armin exhausted himself speaking, and before long, he would march off, frustrated and saddened that nothing has changed.

Of course, it wasn't just Armin that had noticed her extended silence, nor the fact that she no longer wished to join in missions while Eren remained unconscious. She couldn't count how many times Sasha had made sidelong glances and suggestions to do something else, or how Connie had pursed his lips whenever she showed up for their squad's weekly meeting, or how Jean's gaze darkened into a focused concern when she insisted everything was fine. What was worse, however… was the elephant in the room no one dared address.

Captain Levi had only spoken to her a few times since the Trials. Orders and inquiries of her training were the only things she heard from him now, and whenever he called her attention, she refused to meet his gaze. He didn't say anything. No one did. The tension, on the other hand, wouldn't stop screaming. The sooner she was away from him, Mikasa believed, the better.

For a while, Mikasa let her feet wander through the halls of the castle, taking in the sights that were only familiar until this past year.

She never much cared for architecture, but with the sudden introduction of this "Mandate", it all became surprisingly more fascinating. Every gaze her eyes fell upon bore the same look of exhaustion and sadness, of souls being stretched too thin for too long. It was all too funny. Not even a full week of that new ruling being established and already the Castle felt like a solemn war ground.

Had rebuilding cities and regaining territory, losing friends and family not been enough? Had risking their own lives to fight and defend and claim their right to survive – to live – not gotten them the break they all wanted, needed?

_The world is cruel._

With every breath and step, she took, Mikasa knew that to be a fact that made every day boil the heritage and the memories in her blood stronger. But now… she felt worn. She was only nineteen and Mikasa felt as if she had aged decades since the moment she joined the Survey Corp along with Eren and Armin.

All the lives they had already given up. All the sacrifices they had made already…

_Reiner… Bertholdt… Ymir…_

They had once been her friends until so much had gotten screwed up. She considered them friends, people she could count to do the right thing, to help her protect Eren and fight. But things had changed and now they were dead.

The events of the final conflict had gone as they had expected. Chaos and rampant destruction had lasted long enough for Humanity to make a final cry in the dark, and when it all fell silent, they all beheld their victory and could not find it in them to cheer. There wasn't a person who was not left wounded from the remains… be it emotionally or otherwise. Mikasa remembered seeing Armin holding on to Historia, the once brave queen now reduced to a sobbing girl with broken legs and a shattered heart as she had been powerless to stop Ymir's death. Connie had stood by, his expression shadowed by grief as the two men said nothing while Historia wailed to the skies.

Hers was the only cry that really pierced the atmosphere. Everyone else didn't have the capacity to grieve as she did.

Mikasa could still remember the heat of Eren's body like a fire on her palms. His flesh was steaming, his eyes closed and branded shut while their Captain stood on top of the corpse of the Beast. Of all the things Mikasa had ever seen, she could never forget how Levi had been the only person to remain with his head inclined upwards, cloak billowing with the wind. The sight alone had threatened to break her heart a thousand times.

As always… the result was far too much red than anyone was prepared for. And then… Levi flicked the swords in his hands and his eyes turned, fixing and finding hers with an innate magnetism that had always made her freeze, made her unable to look away. In that moment of steam and death, their eyes had connected and there were no words that needed to be said.

Heart squeezing, Mikasa stopped herself from remembering anymore. Every thought of Levi was hot poison in her veins. It burned her with harsher realities and the insistent recall of broken promises and secrets that should have never been kept.

Her footsteps stopped echoing in her ears and Mikasa allowed her mind to return to the ground where she stood. When she realized where she was standing, her body straightened with a jolt. She could not recall the route that took her here, standing in front of Commander Erwin's open door. She had no words to say nor excuse to give when the tall man turned from his place by the far window to look at her. His expression morphed into one that probably reflected her own.

There was a slim minute where the two of them said nothing but appraised one another.

"Mikasa?"

When he spoke it was with an expectant nod and when he did Mikasa felt her eyes move against her will. His right arm was a single stub of a limb that ended above where his elbow once was, her eyes blinked before searching for the missing part. She found the prosthetic on the desk, glistening metal laying innocently on the wood and documents and it was so strange that she wasn't sure whether or not to comment on it.

Erwin seemed to catch on to her attention. He broke his gaze away, yet he made no move to move or even hide his prosthetic. Instead, he motioned his other hand toward the pocket of his military-issued jacket to tug something inside. Her eyes barely managed to catch the hint of a silver chain before it disappeared and he was moving his hand toward her in a beckoning gesture.

"Come in, Cadet Ackerman," he spoke and Mikasa found her feet carrying her in. She didn't have to ask, naturally grabbing the edge of the door before pulling it closed.

"Forgive me if I was…" Mikasa began as soon as their privacy was secured. Erwin's blue eyes met hers, curious. Mikasa paused, unsure how to finish her statement. So, she didn't. To her surprise, his expression lightened into that of a light smile.

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

The offer only added to her surprise for a brief moment before she nodded. It wasn't until they were moving towards the small couch set by his desk when Mikasa remembered why that silver chain had caught her attention. It was a fleeting memory, a time when she had seen it a few years ago and had asked Captain Levi about it.

His eyes had only looked away then, and he continued to walk in a direction Mikasa couldn't remember. Her feet had followed him, falling into step at his side almost naturally.

_"You are not the only one who has lost someone dear to you, Mikasa." Levi sighed when they stopped at a familiar crossroads, and Mikasa felt her eyes fall to the ground, solemn. "Everyone has been affected, one way or another."_

_"Even the Commander?" Mikasa had asked, sheathing her swords in their respective place. She glanced up, meeting Levi's saddened eyes and the sight made every thought scramble from her mind._

_"Everyone," Levi repeated, before swinging his cloak back on his shoulders and walking away._

Mikasa swallowed, throat tight with backed up emotions and too many words she could not settle coherently in her mind. It was to her relief that Commander Erwin did not press for conversation as she watched him pull another teacup and coaster from beneath the coffee table. There was no need for conversation and that was perfectly okay for her. Before long, Mikasa had accepted a cup and sat back on the couch, wondering exactly when all this had happened and if there had ever been hoping for them to avoid it all.

* * *

 

Armin's appearance a short few hours since the squad's return had been as expected as the setting sun. Levi had been unsurprised when he appeared at his office, left his report, gave a quick salute, before checking on Mikasa. A simple matter of routine that was as ingrained as every timely cup of tea. They did not bother exchanging unnecessary words of greeting. It was a simple exchange of glances that said more than words could before the boy was out his door and Levi was left to scour the information on the papers for anything odd or out of the ordinary.

In the time it took to read Armin's very specific and detailed report, both Jean and Connie appeared with theirs, and after some small talk on how the mission went, Levi was apt to note Jean's solemn expression. He did not need to ask. Jean always took on that expression after a conversation with Mikasa. Connie had lingered long after his comrade departed, unsure of what to do but press a salute to his chest and leave soon after.

The dregs of daylight are much like the tea leaves in Levi's cup after his third drink and, according to schedule, Armin showed up right on time for Levi to begin his fourth.

"Pass me the sugar," Levi said just as Armin started the verbal audit of his report. The young soldier was unperturbed by the command and did as ordered, reaching toward the small container with the telltale marking of one of the Corps 'newest' supporting merchant associates.

“Flegel, certainly, spared no expense.” Armin had said when Levi had first received his personal stash and kept it lovingly stocked. Levi had smirked in return, lifting a cup of tea to his lips and waiting for Armin to finish his briefing then.

Armin left the small box on his Captain's desk, launching into his vocal report without introduction. Levi listened half-heartedly, having already read what he now divulged. Nevertheless, Levi sat back and focused on scooping the sugar in his tea before taking a generous sip, glancing up to Armin as he spoke.

"…While there isn't a true reason to suspect, I wouldn't doubt that the Military Police had been expecting us to make a move." Armin's voice was certain, his eyes hardened into focused blue stones as he met his superior officer's narrow gaze. Captain Levi's eyes scoured briefly through his subordinate's written report before setting the documents down.

"And yet there was no increased security?" he asked, pointing out the curious line within the report. Levi raised a brow at Armin, fingers gripped around the rim of his cup.

Armin nodded, "As far as we noticed. The mission went surprisingly well."

Levi shrugged with one shoulder, lifting his cup to his lips, "The MP's are known to slack off on duty."

"To this degree?" Armin didn't look convinced. Then again, neither was Levi.

"How can you be certain that they may have known of our decision to retrieve Historia?"

"While our impression of the Military Police is not the best," Armin said. "It doesn't account for their complete disregard. Our recon was certain, sir. We watched and studied their rounds for several days as commanded, yet the day that we made our move to get Historia there were a considerable less amount of guards. It was as if they wanted us to take her then."

Levi didn't seem particularly impressed by the information, having already read it several times in Jean's and Connie's statements (Sasha had yet to turn hers in). "Perhaps you timed it when those guards were off taking a shit, thought about that?"

"Unlikely, sir," Armin replied, unmoved by the Captain's crass words. There was no need to explain further, Armin knew when the Captain had been convinced. Levi made no further crude remarks, taking a long sip from his tea before placing the cup back down on its coaster.

"So, it appears they knew of our plan to take Historia from the Capital and did nothing." Levi mused, shifting so that his back was pressed against the back of his chair. Armin said nothing. "Either they don't really care about her wellbeing or Zackley was expecting us to do this."

At this Armin's eyebrows rose, "Do you suspect someone in the Corps to be working for the Military Police?"

"A rat in our house," Levi replied with a half-shrug. "Or perhaps he had been expecting us to take the Queen back for some time. Either way, we're at a stalemate now."

"Shall I begin a private investigation?" Armin asked. Levi shook his head, knowing full well it was too late by now.

"Whatever information Zackley wanted to get from us, he's got it now. There'd be no point trying to find the people dug inside here. If anything, I've no doubt Erwin has been expecting to receive a few moles since the outside expeditions had been announced."

Armin's lips pulled into a thin line as his eyes narrowed into a pensive expression. "You don't think… Zackley may be aware of…"

Levi's eyes honed into a sharper stare, piercing into Armin's eyes with pronounced focus. "That information has been kept locked and tight. Unless you have any concerns…?"

Armin shook his head, "No. The squad is completely trustworthy. I was only worried for a moment. My mistake, Captain."

Captain Levi gave him a small nod, his expression lightening considerably. "Anything else?"

"In my Report, that is all," Armin stated, his arm rising to form a salute. He hesitated and the split moment was caught by Levi's observant gaze. Finally, Armin pressed his fist to his chest, resolute. "Thank you, sir."

"You're dismissed," Levi waved off. Armin turned swiftly on his heels, walking toward the door of the office. However, he didn't leave, his hand remained on the knob of the door, frozen. Levi rose a brow, waiting.

"I've done the research as you said, sir," Armin muttered, low yet clearly. Levi's shoulders tensed, his body straightening.

"Well?" The Captain's voice was hard, patient, yet there was a definite undertone of urgency that made Armin's cautious treading into this private topic certain.

"I'm afraid I wasn't able to locate any information," he said, turning to look at the man over his shoulder. "There isn't any information concerning Mikasa's family… or yours, sir."

Levi slouched back on the chair, letting out a gruff sigh while his eyebrows knitted close together.

"Damn," he grunted.

"My belief is that any and all information concerning the main and secondary Ackerman clan is either highly classified or destroyed. It seems that the older Reiss family had made very strong efforts to keep that secret silent."

"Keep searching," Levi ordered, his fingers twitching over the rim of his teacup. "It's all we can do at this point."

"Sir…" Armin began.

"That was an order, Armin." Stone and anger crackled deep inside the Captain's eyes, churning into a sure-fire determination that was almost frightening. "Keep searching."

Armin's eyes beheld the complete unmoving grit pulsing from his commanding officer's expression, knowing full well that any other protest would be met with a harder wall and even more belligerence. The younger soldier set his jaw, shoulders tightening into a strong stance before he gave Levi a nod.

_People crave hope more than anything, Armin. That is why we must keep fighting for it._

"Yes, sir."

* * *

 

**TBC**

 


	2. Heat Wave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music inspired for this chapter: "Von", "Birden" and "Is" (Zankyou no Terror ost), Undan Hulu (Olafur Arnalds)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
> 
> Spoiler warning: this chapter has some manga spoilers, approach at your own discretion.

_May, 853_

The city of Mitras was frightfully silent. It was such a contrast from its former glory; a city bustling with the rich and privileged. Now, much of it was rubble and half-built buildings. Where bright chatter would carry, remained only the hollow sound of the wind as it beat upon the brick and shadows. The memory of many perusing at leisurely strolls was replaced by the reality of the singular passerby, head down and desperate to avoid the attention from stationed Military Policemen. In the distance, the city bell was rung, once, twice, three times, signaling a short respite from the many Trials.

Captain Levi had long ceased staring at the empty streets, finding nothing to entertain him as he waited. His head rested on the stone and mortar surface of a building, eyes closed, leaning back with his arms crossed over his chest. What sunlight pierced through the scattered clouds served well to warm clothes from the fragmented wind.

He was so still, one could almost forget him to be a breathing person. Perhaps that was his intention, to make those few who scurried past overlook him as a stranger or a statue, instead of a soldier. The only things that could put him near the military garb were the crisscrossing 3DMG belts and a single dark green cloak draped around his shoulders, hood pulled close to cover his neck. Aside from those, he was dressed as an ordinary civilian, white shirt sleeves rolled to his elbows and work pants tugged securely within knee-high boots.

Only the familiar and well-trained would recognize him in a heart-beat, and that's what he counted on.

A moment later, a whisper of footsteps rose over the low whistle of the wind, soft enough to be missed by anyone else. Levi perked up, yet his eyes remained closed, basking in the scattered sunlight.

"Captain," from behind a hooded cloak and similar civilian garb, was Armin Arlert. "Sorry to keep you waiting, sir."

"Everything all set?" Levi questioned, barely needing to raise his voice.

"Parliament extended the current trial for another hour. Our contact is waiting for us. Now's a good a time as any."

"Well then," the disguised officer pushed off the wall and stepped around the corner where Armin stood in shadow. "Let's get a move on."

"Yes, sir."

The walk was filled with tension. Their cloaks did well to hide their figures, yet Armin would shoot heavy glances at the Captain every so often, the cool metal of a drawn blade kissing the clothed skin of his forearms. He glanced down toward where the fabric of Levi's cloak swayed gently around his arms, wondering if he had also drawn his blade or had chosen to depend on brute strength for the unexpected.

"Cheery, this place, isn't it?" Levi said. Armin gave a small jolt at the comment. He gave a wary glance at the lifeless alleys; dirty cobblestone ground, stained walls, not even a rat in sight.

"Everyone's been ordered to stay inside," Armin supplied, drawing his gaze back toward Levi's back. "It's been difficult for the MPs to keep order since…"

Armin trailed off for a moment and the duo slowed to a stop. The topic was still too sensitive, judging by the way Levi's shoulders tensed up and the air around him tightened; razor sharp.

"Anyway," Armin continued, a bit uneasily. "The best way to ensure no one else dies or loses property is by instigating a very fierce martial law. We're not even supposed to be around here obviously…"

"If we get caught, I'm sure you'll be able to come up with a good excuse," Levi said, voice flat. "Let's go."

They did not move at a leisurely pace. Wide strides pulled them deeper within the alleys and the less-trodden paths of Mitra's maze-like structure. When they hit a part of the path that Levi was not sure of, Armin stepped forward, leading quietly and without needing to explain. The further they moved the darker it got, shadows deepened against the color of brick houses and the light that glared harshly as it died.

An unpleasant smell rose as the wind was choked by the buildings around them. When they approached a ruined part of the city, Armin hurried as far from the rubble and old debris as he could, not wanting to see it so close. Levi shared his sentiment, the sooner they reached their target the better.

They reached a plaza some time after that, Levi's flat expression dark with the pressure of slipping time. Armin threw him an apologetic glance before hurrying off and stepping near a building with a pronounced vestibule and carved pillars.

"We're here." Armin said when Levi stepped near the steps of the building, narrow gaze lifting to appraise the vestige closely. When Levi failed to move, Armin shifted nervously, throwing a curious gaze at the building in an attempt to spot the sight that had given his captain pause.

"Problem?"

"No," Levi replied, moving ahead without explanation. Armin didn't bother asking. The duo waited after Armin knocked three times at the door. The door slid open immediately and a nervous face appeared from behind the slit.

"Sir?" a small voice asked.

"It's me," Armin said. "I've brought him."

Levi stepped forward, tugging the edge of his cloak down away from his neck. "Levi Ackerman," he said clearly. "Are you Silas?"

"His daughter, Caleah." the young girl said, but she looked more boyish than anything. Levi nodded. "Please, come in."

The door parted enough for the two to slip in and when Caleah shut the door Armin let out an audible sigh.

"I'm sorry to have asked you to come all this way," Caleah said, bowing her head sadly. "If we do have the information you need, it was a huge risk to both of you, I cannot begin to fully ask for forgiveness."

"It's alright," Armin said gently, tugging his hood off his head and allowing his long blond hair to breathe. "We truly appreciate your help. If anything, this is extremely dangerous for you to have contacted us, to begin with. We are much obliged."

Caleah flushed a bright pink, shaking her head. She faced Levi with a sheepish tug of her chin, fingers playing nervously together. At his quirked brow, she bowed, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to stare. It's…just been so long. I haven't seen another one of  _us_  in…"

She trailed off, clearing her throat. The comment brought a curious expression on Levi's face, one he shared with Armin for a second. Before he could ask, Caleah gestured quickly, "My father is over in this direction. He should be waking soon…"

She took on a quick pace, giving the duo no other option but to follow. They remained silent as they rose through the steps of the building, passing closed doors and signs of an infestation. Armin bit his lower lip when he spotted a large black stain over one of the walls as they rose the steps. He didn't need to glance at Levi to know he was most likely revolted by this family's living circumstances.

They didn't climb high, stopping at a half-opened door and the smell of herbs and tea simmering wafted over to them. When they walked inside, the smell was stronger, touched with an undertone of something sickly sweet and possibly rotting.

The room was of a decent size. A good-sized four poster bed was pressed against the wall and an armoire rested in front of a darkened window. In the center of the room was a make-shift pit and fire lit beneath a simmering pot where Armin spotted the tea leaves. He glanced over at the fireplace on the opposite side of the room, confused at its bare state.

"The smoke will attract attention," Caleah said suddenly, surprising Armin as she welcomed them in. "I'll go wake father."

She moved quickly toward the bed, where several patched up blankets were strewn over a human shaped lump. Caleah murmured gently at the lump and a series of groans rose from it. Armin threw a quick glance at Levi, seeing him stare at the man that rose slowly at his daughter's assistance with a strange expression.

"Father," Caleah murmured, "Captain Levi...Ackerman is here."

"Ackerman?" the man repeated softly before pushing the blankets away enough for him to sit up. When he looked at the duo, his eyes landed instantly over Levi. He was not old, but he looked withered, as though he had worked his entire life and suffered a great deal. Armin couldn't help scowl. Even in Mitras if one didn't have the means one could be forced into a hole like this.

"Welcome," he said, and there was a deepness to his voice that must've been powerful years ago. "I am Silas Borg."

"Captain Levi," Levi motioned to himself before nodding in Armin's direction. "My subordinate, Corporal Arlert."

Silas nodded to Armin accordingly, "Caleah should have some tea prepared soon. Please, make yourselves comfortable."

"As grateful as we are for the invitation," Levi said. "I'm afraid we can enjoy tea another time. I've come for the information you have."

Silas frowned, confused. "Information?"

"Concerning the name Ackerman and its origins," Levi elaborated. "Perhaps if there are any still alive aside from myself." Armin didn't fail to note how he failed to mention Mikasa.

"That name is rare," Silas said, nodding slowly. "Or perhaps it isn't. It was once very well known, but not by my generation at least."

"If you could," Armin said, shifting his weight, trying not to sound anxious. "Would you explain what that means?"

Silas grumbled for a moment, pushing his weight from the bed and, with Caleah's help, pressed his feet to the ground.

"I'm afraid I may not have the information you seek, Captain Levi. But perhaps I can shed some light on the matter."

He glanced up and faced them with a sharpness that made Armin straighten.

"You must know that that name was hunted. Those who carried that name died off at the hands of the military and the less honorable. I don't know why it was so, but I know that this is a fact, given the nature of mine and Caleah's mother's fates respectively."

"I am aware that the Ackerman name isn't a safe one," Levi said, sounding vaguely impatient. "I need to know more than that. What do you know?"

"I know that my mother and wife were inexplicably removed from this earth for bearing such a name." Silas explained, "And that I narrowly survived by taking on my father's. I did not know my mother well, she died when I was very young, but Caleah's mother was my cousin. She had more knowledge about the family than I do. She did not share much, but what she did was brief."

"And that is?" Levi urged, taking a step forward.

"That there were two branches of the family," Silas said. "And both were almost completely wiped out if not for marrying outside of the tree."

Levi let out a short huff, shoulders hunching beneath his cloak. "You must know more than that. That is information I already have."

"What do you seek?" Silas asked, frowning as though not understanding the stress pulling at Levi's brows.

"Names," Levi said, "A document,  _anything_  that I could use to retrace the lines and find a commonality."

Silas let out a small bark of mirthless laughter, "Young man, I don't think you understand fully. The Ackerman name has been hunted for years, even long before I was born. That included that any information has been destroyed concerning them. I do not believe such a document exists, and if it does, then I have no knowledge of it."

"What was your mother's name, then? Your wife's?" Levi insisted, taking another step toward Silas. Caleah squirmed nervously beneath the intensity of Levi's gaze. Armin followed quickly, wedging himself subtly between the two men.

"And what would you do with them, Captain?" Silas inquired, tilting his chin. "Seek them out in a consensus form within the government's records? I promise you, they will not be there."

"You  _must_  know more!" Levi barked, body colliding against Armin's extended arm, the only sign he registered the touch was stopping his advance. "You must have had more cousins, or an uncle— _something_ —that would tell me more about this damned family name!"

A moment passed where Silas met Levi's furious stare evenly. Armin's gaze jumped back and forth between the two men, torn between pushing Levi away or asking the questions himself. Caleah's grip on her father's hand was tight with worried tension, yet despite this, there was a storm passing between Levi's and Silas's eyes.

"Young Captain Levi of the Survey Corps, also known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier," Silas said suddenly. Levi straightened, almost leaning away as his lips tightened into a firm line.

"You have the promise of a rich life ahead of you, Captain. A life where few will dare question you or attempt to harm you because of what you mean for humanity. Abandon this search is what I will tell you. The government has changed and those who hunted our family may be dead, but there is a curse on this name and if you wish to be spared of it, then I suggest you turn your attention elsewhere."

Armin winced at his words, shoulders slumping at the wall that now stood before them. Levi was stone, staring down and watching the father and daughter pair with an abrupt indifference that was frigid.

"Thank you for inviting us into your home," Levi said, giving them both a single nod. "Allow me to repay you for your kindness."

Without another word, Levi turned and walked toward the door. "You will hear from me soon. We will not meet again. Armin, let's go."

Armin watched him with wide eyes, floundering at the abrupt order for departure. He glanced back at Caleah and Silas, saw the man staring out in the opposite direction while Caleah's expression looked pinched with unspoken words and disappointment. With a final word of appreciation, Armin bowed to the family and hurried after Levi.

"Captain," Armin called, spinning around the door to see Levi already descending down the steps, cloak billowing behind him. "Captain!"

Levi said nothing as he continued to descend, forcing Armin to run after him. "Captain, wait!"

When they reached the main floor, Levi waited for no one to head for the door. Armin reached him when he opened the door but dared not stop him. The door slammed behind them, exposing them to the expanded shadows of evening. Levi's steps were a wide and rhythmic march that Armin fell into step with some effort.

"There's still so much we can ask, sir," Armin said, lifting a hand to pull his hood over his head. "We could still try to work with the information he gave us!" He shot wary glances into the many buildings around them. To his relief, Levi had done the same and covered his head with his hood, before extending his arms outward. The faint glint of light bouncing off metal was Armin's only warning before the sound of gas burst from Levi's gear and he was ripping through the air and into the sky.

"Captain, you can't just— _Agh!_ " Armin growled in frustration, shoving his blade into its container attached to his thigh before his fingers found the triggers of his maneuver gear. Air and weightlessness surrounded him, threatening to blow off his hood as he tried to match Levi's speed.

"Captain, there's a curfew, we can't—Captain Levi!" Armin shouted after him in vain. Levi paid him no heed, shooting off into the shadows and the faint light of twilight and young starlight. With a curse, Armin struggled to keep up.

They moved through the rooftops and over the streets and maze they had traversed for an hour prior. In the time it took them to arrive at Silas' home, they made it back to the main plaza of the empty marketplace within a fraction of it. As they slowed down, Armin shot nervous glances around them, hoping not to spot a policeman and scramble to come up with a good excuse for this evening escapade.

He breathed easily when Levi finally dropped to the ground, wires spitting as they were yanked back into place within his cloak. He wasted no time, immediately picking up a quick pace and headed in a familiar direction. Armin stumbled after him. Levi continued to walk ahead, shoulders tight and fists clenched tight around the hilts of his gear.

"Captain," Armin tried once more to get Levi's attention. "Sir!"

Levi slowed to a stop, forcing Armin to slow and stop a few feet behind him. When he said nothing, Armin proceeded.

"This isn't over yet, sir. There's still a lot of options we can take, a lot of things we haven't tried yet—"

"It won't matter," Levi cut in. "You heard what he said. What information we could hope to achieve from him was meager from the start."

"That doesn't mean we should give up—"

"Give up?" Levi repeated, turning around to fix Armin a very sharp stare. "I'm not giving up, Armin. Don't mistake my words for a sign of defeat."

Armin blinked, his mind spinning with confusion. "Then…"

Captain Levi turned again, back facing the lit building of their faction's current quarters. "What he said was that he had no knowledge of there being a document. Meaning there is still a chance something like that could exist. Given the nature of the Reiss Family, it would be ridiculous if the Ackerman family didn't have something of that nature as well, right?"

Armin gaped before shaking his head, "Well, probably. But, I heard Silas too, Captain. He said that he doubts such a document even exists."

"It exists."

Armin threw his hands in the air, "You can't be sure of that! Maybe it did once, but we can't be certain it does now! Where would we even look?"

Levi turned his back on Armin again, head downcast, "I'm not going to give up now, Armin. Not when I'm so close to proving to her that…" he broke off and Armin's eyes widened, mouth parting in surprise. A thick pause followed, neither lessened by the breeze that picked around them nor the gentle flapping of their cloaks.

"Will you or will you not help me find it, Armin?" Levi asked finally. Armin's hands fell to his sides and he let out a slow sigh.

"I'll help you, sir." Armin said softly, "No matter what it takes."

The sound of gas bursting from a canister followed and a sharp breeze yanked at Armin's disguise, leaving the corporal to stand alone and watch his captain disappear into the night sky and a half-grinning moon.

* * *

 

_March 854  
present time_

Morning inspections went as they always did; an abrupt wake-up call for the latest recruits and immediate drill that followed. Doing the wake-up calls was usually left to the higher-ups, or those who already had gained status to become a Squad Leader. Seldom did the duty fall on someone with a ranking lesser than Sergeant. It just so happened that on this day, the duty would fall on Corporal Armin Arlert.

An hour before dawn, Armin heard a hard knock at his door. Yanked from his sleep, Armin shot off from his bed and towards the door, arms half-tugged through a shirt and eyes blinking with fading sleep. Torchlight poured into his face when he opened the door, making him wince and flinch away.

"Yes?"

"Corporal Arlert," he heard and recognized Keiji's voice, wry with amusement at seeing him flop around for lucidity. "Seems like today is your lucky day."

"Why is that, Lieutenant?" Armin said, clearing his throat and trying to straighten his appearance.

Keiji's face finally sharpened into view, a wide smile spread across his face in an overly cheerful expression. "You'll be taking charge of drills! You've got forty minutes to get ready and pick out a team for the job!"

Armin blinked, confused. When his shoulders perked up, all manner of sleepiness and exhaustion fell away with a strangled gasp. "Does this mean the Commander is going to promote me?!"

Keiji let out a bark of laughter, "Consider it a trial run, Armin. See how you do with this batch of recruits!"

He turned and walked off, leaving Armin to register his words before disappearing into his room in a flurry. In his haste to tug his hair up into its usual half-knot, Armin whirled around and slammed a toe against his dresser. Stifling a howl, Armin doubled over in pain.

"Typical," he growled to himself and limped around until he found all his clothes.

Forty-five minutes later, Armin was washed and dressed in a clean uniform, gear strapped to his body firmly. His hands tugged at the belts more out of nerves than necessity, taking wide strides in the direction of the barracks. His stomach was an unopened can of worms, still yet wriggling with anxious anticipation.

The trek to the barracks was uneventful, but Armin's mind considered all the possibilities with his lower lip worried between his teeth. So preoccupied with good impressions and the appropriate tact to follow for the recruits, Armin missed the approaching figure heading from an adjacent hall, nor the greeting, nor the fact that he was about to—

"Ow!"

Armin yelped, stumbling and glancing around in surprise when he spotted his commanding officer glaring at him from the ground.

"Spacing out so early in the morning, are we, Armin?" Levi ground out, fingers tapping against the cobblestone irately. Armin blanched, hurrying to help the man to his feet. Levi took the offered hand without a word but had several when Armin continued to fret and tried dusting off imagined dirt from his body.

"Will you calm the hell down?" Levi said, exhaling roughly with exasperation as he slapped Armin's hands off. "What has got you so high strung that you're acting like you've killed someone?"

Armin straightened, mouth growing dry for a moment before sighing. "Commander Erwin is considering my request for a promotion. Keiji woke me up and said I am to lead the morning drills this morning."

Levi rose an unimpressed brow, "That's it?"

Armin swayed, unsurprised and almost exasperated himself that Levi didn't get it.

"It's just—Agh…" he broke off, lifting his hands and gesturing without meaning. "I know I've been wanting the opportunity to lead for years now. I choked once. Remember? In Shiganshina. When it mattered. Back then, Jean was able to take the lead and make calls I should've been able to do if I hadn't gotten so overwhelmed…"

"Armin," Levi said, pressing a hand to Armin's shoulder. "That was four  _years_  ago."

"I know," Armin sighed. Levi squeezed his shoulder, shaking Armin from his moment of low self-esteem. "But I'm not an idiot. Leading back then was—is—easy compared to this. More than half of these soldiers…they hate being here, they don't have the same resolve we did when our squad joined the Corps. They were  _forced_  into this, and they are being forced into this Mandate…they're going to smell the hesitation and lack of resolve in me and refuse to follow instruction."

The air spun and Armin let out a soft gasp as he suddenly flipped through the air and landed roughly on his back. Armin stared at the upside figure of Captain Levi, staring down at him with narrow eyes and a frown. The air was certainly gone from his lungs, and Armin could only gape as his mind struggled to catch up.

_What…just…?_

"Are you going to lay there and bitch or are you going to get up and get that promotion?" Levi asked.

Armin blinked, mouth working in shock before his mind caught up. "Oh."

He scrambled up to his feet, pausing when he saw Levi's hand extended out toward him. Armin accepted the help, hoisting and settled on his feet.

"We have never had many willing soldiers," Levi said when Armin straightened. "Most joined because duty called and we needed the numbers. People follow orders not because they want to but because they have to, Armin. This circumstance with the Mandate, the time with the Titans, none of it is all too different. We are doing things we don't want to do for a purpose and because we have no other option."

A slow wedge of air pushed through Armin's throat, ending with the beginning of a protest, the end of a concern that never landed on the right words. What further words he wanted to say to defend his hesitation died when he remembered the looks of pain on Historia's face three days ago.

He had been capable of seeing the necessity of the Mandate then, in the face of one whom he couldn't live without. He shouldn't abandon that sight just because he was nervous.

"You've got a job, Corporal," Levi said, stepping away and disappearing down the hall. "You're also late, by the way."

Armin glanced at the nearest window, heart leaping when he realized just how high the sun had gotten. He took off in the other direction, footsteps hitting the stone in a quick succession that echoed the race of his heart.

* * *

 

Breakfast time fell over the castle in a series of promising smells and the calls of excited soldiers waiting to finally eat.

Connie Springer was among the very first to get ready for breakfast, all too happy to enjoy a meal after seeing the disaster that had been Armin's first-morning drill instruction. He was inwardly cackling, ready to jab and tease his friend when their squad met for their first meal. There were so many times one could see a man shout orders in one second and then nearly face-plant on a climbing post for not paying attention and it not be funny. Luckily, it didn't lose its comedic flavor by the time the drills were over.

Walking into the mess hall, Connie spotted Sasha (as usual) already sitting at their table and stuffing her face with eggs and a large roll of bread. Sasha spotted him just as easily, rising in her chair and waving madly at Connie.

"CnnNNie!" Sasha exclaimed through a mouthful of food, pointing at the line of cooks. She swallowed down and quickly grabbed her mug to take a swig before she choked herself in her excitement. "Connie! There's bacon!"

Connie stopped laughing at the sight of seeing Sasha nearly choke on bread before looking in the direction of the cooks. Sure enough, he spotted Elheim the cook waving him over with a wide grin. His legs could not have gotten him into the line faster, squeezing in just before the line got too busy and helped himself to a tall plate of food.

"Sasha, check out this horde!" Connie exclaimed gleefully, bounding over to the table and sitting down by his best friend's side. Sasha let out a muffled howl of excitement, too busy shoving food in her mouth to allow the victory cry to explode in the air. While it was usually rude to eat before their commanding officer joined them, Sasha and Connie had done it plenty of times and seen Captain Levi shrug uncaringly to follow a silly protocol.

"You guys are eating before the rest of the squad gets here. Again." Jean's voice filtered flatly above them. The duo paused in their feasting, smiling brightly despite Jean's frown of mild disgust. Connie had a piece of bacon hanging from his mouth and Sasha's mouth was smothered in bacon grease. Delightful.

"How nice of you."

"Oh, lighten up, Jean," Connie snorted. "Look, bacon!"

Jean pressed a hand against the plate that was being shoved against his nose. "I can see that. Although, you two need to learn how to curb your enthusiasm. Or did you forget the elephant in the room so easily?"

Sasha glanced up, innocently, "Elephant?"

Slapping a hand to his face, Jean pointed in the direction of the gloomy soldiers filtering in and getting in line for breakfast. "Not everyone is excited to live life like you two."

"Well, that's too bad," Sasha replied, waving a piece of hardened egg yolk on a fork. "They should try."

"Sasha," Jean sighed. She frowned at him.

"You want us to just sit down and cry about this whole thing? Sorry, Jean. I don't want to cry right now. You know what I do want? For you to sit down, grab some bacon, and eat until you're happy. Not to be such a kill-joy and ruin everything."

Jean gawked, taken aback. Connie glanced back up and nodded, "She's got a point, dude."

Jean was ushered into his seat on the bench next to Sasha before he could argue further. He let out an exasperated sigh, reaching over and swiping a roll Sasha was about to grab. At her indignant squawk, he side-glanced at her and took a generous bite.

"You wanted me to eat. Look. Eating."

Rolling her eyes, she went back to enjoying her meal, but Jean couldn't help the light smile her look of irritation gave him nor returning the playful shove she pushed at his shoulder with his own. Connie watched them with a curious gaze, thinking of something quick to tease them when a small commotion cut his wit short.

"This whole Mandate is bullshit." Someone near their table grunted as they slapped their tray on the wood and sat down with a huff. "I'm sick of taking all these orders from idiots who think they're big enough to call the shots."

Connie stopped eating, swallowing down stiffly and seeing Sasha's own movements slow as well. Jean suddenly looked as still as a statue, his gaze on the table before them.

"Did you read the instructions on that document?" Another voice agreed, "Dishonorable discharge and even death, that's what they threaten us with. Didn't we  _just_  get out from being oppressed by a bunch of man-eating beasts?"

Suddenly, there were more voices, cutting into their small moment of happiness without a care.

"I didn't join the military to be bred as a prized dog."

"I don't even want to be in the military…"

"What does this mean now? I'm sixteen, I'm not ready to get married!"

"Will they pair us up with just anyone? I don't want to be paired up with some mule of a man just because the law says so…"

"Sure, that's what they'll tell you when they force you to join. Great benefits; lots of food, good pay, maybe a few acres of land in the future. How can we be certain that's all for real, though?"

"We have fucking rights. We're human beings, they can't just  _do_  this, can they?"

"What about the Queen?" At this, Connie perked up, seeing Sasha do the same. "Wasn't she one of us at one time? Is she okay with all this?"

"Nah, the Queen is just a puppet. She doesn't have any real power, otherwise, she would've told Parliament to fuck off."

"Connie, can you scoot over?" Historia's voice broke through the many displeased comments, startling the trio into glancing up at her. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail, body dressed in a military uniform, looking less like a queen and more like a soldier. Connie gaped for a moment before he slid to the side, permitting enough space for her to sit.

Historia placed her plate of food on the table gently but made no move to touch it. None of them asked if she had heard the words of the soldiers around them, they would be idiots to not have seen it in the carefully flat expression mask her face. Not even Sasha pulled up the nerve to ask her if she was going to eat.

After a tense moment, Connie breathed a sigh.

"Just ignore them," he said. "They don't know what they're talking about."

"Of course, they don't," Historia replied easily, lifting a hand to grab her fork and slice a steaming potato in half. "Neither do we. Besides, it's not like we know who the Queen is, right?"

Connie and Sasha exchanged alarmed glances, turning their confused gazes to Jean when he shook his head in a warning gesture.

"Right," Sasha said hesitantly. "We don't."

They tried not to stare as she brought up pieces of food to her mouth, seeing her actually make an effort to eat with poor posture. A few years of being taught by the court was apparently more than enough to change her etiquette. Still, Historia ate like she wasn't tasting any of the food and that made Connie's expression and earlier glee for the meal fall to the floor beneath them.

"Uhm," Sasha piped up, pulling one of the last pieces of bacon on her plate up. "Here, Historia! They're serving bacon. I thought I'd save you a piece…?"

Jean and Connie balked. Sasha—sharing? Sasha threw them both an annoyed look. Historia hummed in response, lifting her plate and accepting the slice of bacon. Sasha placed the warm meat on the other girl's plate and sat back, unsure if her attempt had been enough.

An awkward silence threatened to spill over the group, but they were saved from it when Captain Levi finally arrived. As per protocol, they all stood and gave their leader a grim salute. He waved them down and set his own tray of food down.

"I'm not going to care that you started without me," he said, eyebrows furrowed deeply over his eyes and casting a nasty shadow over his face. "I've had a shit morning, so I suggest none of you bring up that shitty mandate up while I enjoy my breakfast, understood?"

"Understood."

"Good," Levi grunted, tearing into a piece of bacon and biting into a bread roll. "Where's Armin?"

"Probably still doing paperwork," Jean replied easily. "He showed up late to a drill he was apparently signed up for this morning. News to me, considering. You should've seen him after it, though, white as a ghost—"

"Speak of the devil," Levi interrupted, motioning with a grease covered fork in the direction of the entrance. The team turned around, eyes seeking and finding the figure of Armin Arlert walking through and suddenly become surrounded by soldiers. Historia abruptly shot off her seat, one of her hands curled tight around a knife as she stared at the scene with wide-eyed preparedness.

Instead of seeing Armin attacked, however, they saw his head pop out from the many hands clapping around his shoulders and the words of jest and amusement. Armin's face, even from where they sat, was flushed pink with embarrassment and even looking a little thin with exhaustion. He bowed his head a couple of times, trying in vain to head towards the squad's table. A few hands tugged him straight to the food line where people moved to let him grab a tray.

At the obvious lack of danger, Historia dropped her knife and turned around, sitting back down on the bench. She said nothing, pointedly ignoring Levi and Connie's surprised stares.

"The hell did he do?" Jean asked, eyes wide and marveling as the soldiers clambered and cheered when Armin raised a mug of watered down ale nervously. "Look at them, treating him like he single-handedly killed the Beast."

Sure enough, they dispersed and Armin walked quickly towards their table, arms laden with a tray of food and a forced smile that looked more like a grimace.

"Hey, guys," Armin greeted tiredly. Taking his place on the other side of Connie, Armin began to eat, waving half-heartedly at Levi without attempting a salute. The squad exchanged amused glances with their leader, even Levi had a bit of a wry smirk showing at Armin's lack of energy.

"Have fun at the drills this morning, Corporal?" Connie asked, snickering and nudging and elbow against Armin's side.

"Sure," Armin said, pressing the heel of his palm against an eye. "Great fun. The funniest."

"You don't sound so great, Armin," Sasha said, giggling. "What happened?"

"Tripped over himself, at least, twelve times," Connie interjected before Armin could, guffawing. "You should've seen it, guys. He would shout an order while watching the drills and literally smack himself against a post the second he got distracted."

"Connie," Armin dropped his head to his chin, groaning pathetically. "Please don't."

"At one point one of the recruits had to actually stop working on their drill to help Armin because he got stuck on one of the barbed wire nets!"

Laughter exploded from Jean and Sasha's mouths, embellished with Connie's own, brightening the atmosphere again. At Armin's withering glare, the trio settled down to stuffing their laughs behind their hands and ugly snorts.

Armin flicked his eggs with a fork, "It really wasn't that funny."

"Is that why they all treated you like a hero?" Jean asked, barely holding down a laugh as he leaned over the table. "Who knew that being a wreck would be more motivational than shouting orders?"

"Oh, I shouted," Armin sighed, pressing his elbows on the table and sinking his face into his palms. "Plenty of times."

"Yeah, it sounded an awful lot like— _Oi, Dartmore, pick up your knees, but not too high u-UWAH!_ " Connie exclaimed, miming Armin's voice and then feigned falling over. Sasha and Jean all but slammed their heads on the table, pealing with laughter.

"I don't sound like that," Armin grumbled through a deepened voice, his cheeks burning a deep scarlet.

"Could've been worse," Levi said, fingers playing with the lip of his cup as he sat back and watched his squad laugh with a light smirk. "You could've gotten stuck in the barbed wire."

"Except he DID!" Jean, Sasha, and Connie roared, clutching at their stomachs while Levi hid his amusement behind his cup. Armin sank into his seat, daring a peek at the blonde woman sitting on Connie's other side. Historia didn't seem to be reacting much, save holding a hand over mouth and looking elsewhere, shoulders tight and shaking a little.

Armin paled. S _he was laughing too._ The corporal groaned miserably while his team continued to laugh, shoving his shoulders playfully until he finished his meal.

"It's not as bad as it could've been, honestly," Connie said a while later, laughter abating and fingers wiping away tears from his eyes. "The recruits could've completely hated your guts. Instead, you showed them a good time."

"The military isn't exactly a place to be shown a good time, Connie." Armin deadpanned as he rolled his eyes.

"Well, yeah," Jean agreed, grinning. "But stuff has been super tense lately, what with that—you know— _thing_  that's been hanging over our heads. Hell, I wouldn't be too surprised if Commander Erwin foretold this would happen and put you in charge of the drills for exactly this reason."

"He's not a fucking fortune-teller, Jean." It was Levi's turn to roll his eyes. Sasha giggled at Jean's pursed expression. He nudged her with his shoulder.

"Probably not," Sasha said, reaching over to grip to Armin's forearm in a warm gesture. "But this was a good thing. We needed the laughs. Sorry that it had to be at your expense, Armin."

Armin smiled, shrugging somewhat. "I could have gotten stuck in the barbed wire."

"Except you DID!" The trio exclaimed and began laughing once more. Connie threw a glance to Levi, expecting to find an expression of mild amusement on his face. What he saw instead took the rest of his laughter away and made him pause. It wasn't every day you see Captain Levi's expression freeze to that of sheer surprise, knuckles white with the grip he had on his cup.

The look flickered into a steely indifference before Levi looked away. Connie rose a brow, twisting around to see what had caused their Captain to become so stony faced. When he saw, he felt his own stomach harden with dread and surprise.

It was undeniable despite the distance, but they could see Mikasa walking into the mess hall and gathering some food for herself, expression half hidden beneath her muffler and the dark curtain of her shoulder-length hair.

The light atmosphere between the group dropped cold, and when Connie turned back he saw similar expressions of alarm and nervousness in Sasha and Jean's faces. Armin looked torn between being relieved and worried and Historia had a frown on her features that bordered on the somber. Levi looked as he usually did when they faced an unknown situation, cold and stand-offish.

_Oh boy._

"Should we…uh, go say hi?" Sasha said after Mikasa reached the line. Soldiers parted away from her, heading in another direction, avoiding her gaze.

"You people act like there's something wrong with her," Levi said abruptly, earning him a series of wide-eyed expressions. "If it'll make you feel any better, I was just leaving."

"But, sir," Armin began, neck spinning as he glanced back and forth between Mikasa and Levi.

"Calm down, Armin," Levi said, rolling his eyes and standing up, tray already in his hands. "She's not a fucking Titan, and neither am I. I'll see you all later for assignments."

The group watched, lips tight with anxious anticipation as he headed to drop his tray by the kitchen. Mikasa had already grabbed hers and was beginning to turn to face their table when she froze. Connie distinctly heard Armin hold his breath when Levi approached her, then exhaled heavily when he walked past her without a word or even a nod of acknowledgment.

Mikasa donned indifference just as he did, falling back into step and walking toward their table.

"Good God," Jean muttered behind a palm. Connie turned and saw a dark shadow over his eyes, lips curled tight. "I almost thought she was going to kill him."

"Or vice versa," Sasha huffed in agreement, shoulders slumping as the tension melted away.

"They'd never do that to each other," Armin said, turning his attention away to stare sadly at his half-empty tray of breakfast. "No matter how much they claim to hate one another."

Mikasa soon approached them, her eyes heavy. "Hey, guys…"

"Mikasa, good morning!" Sasha piped up, overly cheery and shoving Jean without preamble. He let out a yelp as his body fell from the bench, landing roughly on his back. "I saved you a seat!"

"Sasha, what the  _hell_!" Jean exclaimed, half-winded from his fall. Mikasa let out a soft snort, and Connie allowed the opportunity to flourish as much as it could. He laughed pointing at Jean as the soldier grumbled and picked himself up. Armin chuckled and Historia smiled.

Mikasa sank down in the seat where Jean had been, placing her tray on the table before yanking at her red muffler. She looked somewhat out of place with her civilian clothing, but her presence felt like an added piece to their fragmented puzzle, settling comfortably among them and making the air a little lighter.

Jean made do with his options and sat on the other side of Sasha, reaching over and swiping a stray piece of food Sasha had left on her plate in revenge. The food-enthusiast shrieked despairingly, attacking back by smacking Jean. They continued to bicker, and while it was common to see them behave this way, Connie didn't miss the quick glances they both threw at Mikasa, no doubt to gauge her reaction.

"How's everything?" Mikasa asked after Sasha and Jean settled down. "I'm sorry I didn't join in the mission, but I'm glad to see you safe, Historia."

"Thank you, Mikasa," Historia said, exchanging smiles with her. Historia's smile fell quickly and after a short pause, she sighed. "I wanted to bring this up earlier, but I didn't know how…I would appreciate it if you guys could address me as Krista Lenz instead, from now on."

Armin's fork clattered to his plate, and everyone whirled their attention on her. Connie's lips parted in surprise as he looked at her, stunned.

"Hold on, why the change?" Connie asked, the first to recover.

"Commander Erwin and I have agreed that it would be the best way to ensure my…protection," she explained, hands falling from the table to link over her lap. "I don't like it any more than any of you, but this was a condition that was unnegotiable. So long as I am here, I cannot be Historia Reiss. If the people knew…"

"We could attract more potential assassination attempts," Jean concluded, his hands clenching on the table.

"Among other things," Historia replied, nodding. "While I am here, I will not be Historia Reiss. Not while this Mandate is in play, not while Zackley is in power. And so…" suddenly her expression changed, softening and tilting in a warm gesture.

"I thank all of you for being able to do so much for me. Just please bear with this change, just until we know more."

There was a moment where all of them wanted to speak. Words rose in chests and died on tongues when they all saw the same steely resolve within Historia's gaze contrasting with the angelic smile now over her face. Connie felt a surge of something hot and fierce course through his veins, digging his nails into his palms and sinking his teeth against the inside of his cheek. He looked away, struggling to control his ire and taking in a slow breath.

"Right," Connie said after another moment, his heart wavering and squeezing.  _It's just one thing after another._ "Sorry about that…Krista."

"It's okay, Connie." She smiled at him and reached back for her breakfast, taking in small bites and chewing as though there was no tension hidden in her shoulders.

The group was unable to recover from that blow of information, and not long after that Armin stood and stormed off without a word. None of them could extrapolate from his clenched expression, he just left.

Soon, Jean and Sasha went their separate ways, mumbling mild excuses as they walked off. Mikasa finished her breakfast, exchanging conversation with Krista that Connie didn't really register. After some time, Mikasa, too, stood and walked off, saying under her breath that she needed to check up on Eren.

Historia remained by Connie's side, sitting in silence. Connie couldn't take it anymore.

"Ymir wouldn't have wanted this," Connie said. To her credit, Krista didn't stiffen or lash out. Instead, she lowered her head and when Connie looked there was a small smile on her face, beautiful and terribly sad.

"I know."

And with that Krista excused herself and Connie remained, staring at the empty spots around him and catching the dejected words of the soldiers around him.

" _This isn't fair."_

"I want to go back home."

"I'm sick and tired of all this  _shit_."

Connie stood and walked out, fists clenched tight at his sides as he did so.

* * *

 

The door to Commander Erwin's office slammed open, revealing the livid expression of Armin Arlert and his storming figure. Erwin had looked up from a series of expedition reports in surprise, half-expecting Levi to be the result of the commotion; not the once-timid soldier.

"Corporal," Erwin greeted, leaning back to give Armin his full attention even while Keiji scrambled after the man.

"Corporal Arlert, you cannot just barge right in!" Keiji was exclaiming, trying and failing to grab Armin to pull him out of the room.

"You  _knew_!" Armin snarled through clenched teeth, pointing a finger at Erwin. Erwin blinked, his surprise mounting with every passing moment. It was rare to see Armin in such a furious state. Erwin had only ever seen him behave similarly during the time of the Trials, when the Marquis had made an off-handed comment about Historia's right to rule.

A light flicked on in Erwin's mind, and Erwin pursed his lips.  _Ah._

"You  _knew_  all about the risk of that name, Commander. You knew and yet you ask her to take it on again, you  _knew_  what this would do to her, what it's doing to her!" Armin exclaimed. Keiji continued trying to apprehend Armin, stopping only when Erwin lifted a hand to stop him.

"Let me speak to him, Keiji," Erwin said after Armin stopped short by his desk, panting and staring down at him with seething contempt.

"But, sir," Keiji protested, face bright with alarm. It was rarer for Armin to behave this way in front of others, and Keiji had never seen him behave like this. Erwin give Keiji a final nod and the soldier sighed before walking out of his room.

"Explain, sir." Armin shot out, glaring down at Erwin. Erwin would have laughed at the predicament. Four years ago, Armin would've just as likely thrown himself off the walls at Erwin's command than to openly bark at the commanding officer and demand answers. Levi would be proud.

"I knew there was a risk," Erwin said, nodding, lacing his fingers together over his mouth. "So did Historia. We all knew."

"You ordered us to get her out of there, to bring her here because it was safer, because Zackley would sooner risk destruction than to go after her," Armin said through clenched teeth, blue eyes crackling with vicious energy.

"Never at any point did you tell us that that plan included risking her well-being!"

"The plan is designed to secure her well-being," Erwin argued, feeling a nerve against his eyebrow tick. "The risk of her mentality is a small one compared to the risk of her life being taken by the people here. I cannot risk anyone,  _anyone_ , here taking it upon themselves to enact a skewed revenge on the government and ruin what we've worked for."

"Then give her another name," Armin insisted, placing his hands on Erwin's desk. "Literally, any other name is better than that one. She  _cannot_  go back to being Krista Lenz, sir. There is way too much blood and pain associated with that name."

"Krista Lenz is the only credible identity that we have of her, Armin." Erwin sighed, pulling his fingers apart to press a pinch against the bridge of his nose. He straightened in his seat, assuming a secure position to stare back into Armin's eyes. Erwin saw him falter a bit, the depth of his current behavior dawning on him now that his anger was fading.

"I am aware of your feelings for her, Armin. I know they are not ill-placed. I also know that you want to help her in any way possible. But I also want you to know that she is not the fragile girl of her youth anymore. Historia has made the decision to fight back against the trauma of her childhood, she has made the promise to become the Queen we all need to lead us to victory. Assuming an identity will not break her, and you need to believe in her strength to really know that. Or, do you doubt her?"

Armin pulled away, face crumbling as his thoughts spun in his mind. "No, I don't—I have never doubted her…I could never doubt her strength."

"Then believe that she is strong enough to endure this," Erwin said finally. "She was strong enough to survive losing someone she loved, she will be strong enough to shoulder this."

Armin's lips stretched into a thin line, the fight in his body depleting. He nodded after a moment, strands of blond hair falling over his face as he did so.

"Forgive me, sir. I was…insubordinate and disrespectful." Armin said softly. "I will accept any punishment for my behavior. It was unacceptable."

"I appreciate your apology," Erwin said, unable to curb the smile that pulled at his lips. "I do agree that you went a bit overboard, but don't apologize for speaking out when you see something wrong. A good soldier knows his place, but a great leader knows when to speak out.

"That being said," Erwin paused as the door opened once more, revealing Keiji and a small squad of soldiers. The soldiers filed in, noticeable looks of tiredness and exhaustion tugged at their eyelids, but a definite sobriety ruled the stance of their bodies. Armin turned to behold them, seeing one of them take the position of leadership.

"I want you to listen in on this while I take in this squad's reports from the outside expedition." Erwin addressed Armin, motioning for him to stand at his side. Armin walked around the desk, standing by Erwin as they looked at the small squad.

"Good morning, Squad Borgov." Erwin said. The squad took their places side by side, swiftly thrusting their fists against their chests in a unified salute.

"Good morning, Sir!"

Erwin motioned to Keiji who stood by waiting for orders. "I don't see Sergeant Major Hector Borgov, among you. Where is he?"

The assumed leader, a short woman with fiery red hair and piercing green eyes, stood forward. She presented another salute, before falling into at-ease position.

"Sergeant Major Borgov is dead, sir," the woman said, voice hard.

Armin let out a noise of surprise. Erwin noticed the saddened expressions on the squad at her announcement, swallowing down with the weight of the news. "We lost him in a flash rain storm. His horse slipped down a ravine and he fell with it. We could not locate his body and therefore could not bring it back."

Erwin took the news with silence. He inhaled slowly before glancing down at the report with a frown.

"What's your name, Corporal?" The woman straightened, her back tight and strung tight as she tilted her chin down to meet Erwin's gaze. She wasn't very tall, Arming noticed, most likely just barely over five feet. Still, she held herself with pronounced dignity, and that added to her height even if her boots didn't.

"Corporal Hanna Li Dorinski, sir," she said. "I was the Sergeant Major's second in command."

Erwin nodded, "Why is the Sergeant's death not on the report?"

"We sent in our reports of the mission prior to returning to HQ, sir." Hanna Li said. "He died on the way back here."

Erwin sighed, leaning back slightly. "I'll need new reports then, as well as an officer deceased form written and signed by the squad. As soon as you have turned those in, you are excused from assignments for today, and tomorrow if you need it. I am sorry for your loss. The Sergeant was a strong and amicable man."

"Thank you, sir," Hanna Li said, bowing her head while the squad did as well. "We appreciate it."

"The squad is excused. Save you, Corporal Dorinski, I want to ask you some questions."

"Sir," the squad said in unison before turning and walking out after Keiji, footsteps clattering in a solemn departure. The corporal remained standing in her place, meeting Erwin's gaze certainly before flashing a glance over to Armin.

Once alone, Erwin beckoned her closer. Hanna Li did as she was ordered, stepping close enough that her green cloak brushed the wood of his desk.

"Corporal, at any point, did your squad find anything?"

Corporal Hanna Li frowned, shaking her head. "We didn't find any Titans, if that's what you mean, sir. They're all gone."

Erwin's lips tightened for a fraction of a moment. "Sergeant Major Borgov mentioned a specific location in his report prior to his death," he said.

"Are you aware of this location?"

"Do you mean the tower?" Hanna Li returned, tilting her chin. Erwin nodded.

"Before the Fall of Wall Rose, well over ten years ago, there was land that we had established during long-term recon missions. Our overall purpose was to locate any evidence or find anything that could bring us more information of the outside world. The Sergeant might have mentioned this to you."

Hanna Li nodded, flashing another look at Armin, bordering on distrustful. "Corporal Arlert is trustworthy, Corporal Dorinski. You need not worry about him."

She turned her attention back to Erwin, green eyes fixing back over the commander's face without argument. "He said that you had once found something like a document back then."

Erwin leaned forward, "We had been unable to retrieve it because circumstances at the time forced us to vacate the Tower and head for higher land."

Hanna Li nodded once more, reaching into her cloak and jacket. She pulled out a small envelope, handing it over to the Commander. Erwin accepted it with wide eyes. He wasted no time hurrying to open it and see the contents. His fingers stopped short after he pulled the paper back, a look of disappointment marred his features.

Armin peered over, curious. He froze at the sharp stare Hanna Li sent him. Swallowing, Armin pulled away and waited. Erwin let out a sigh, breaking the woman's rigid glare and gathering her attention once more.

"These are burned scraps of paper," Erwin said.

"When we had arrived to the Tower we found it almost burned to the ground. We all wrote that in our reports, more or less describing the scene." Hanna Li's eyes blinked down at him with a flat expression. Armin couldn't help but get a strange feeling of déjà vu the more he watched her.

"Yes," Erwin said, "I recall reading it."

"I'm sure you must have been hoping that the document had made it out. That was all he was able to find, sir. I'm sorry."

Erwin didn't stop, carefully pulling the pieces of paper from inside the envelope and placing them over his desk. Armin stood close, finally looking down at the papers and spotting a few stray words and ink designs that made no sense to him and were almost impossible to read.

"If you don't mind me asking," Hanna Li shifted, no doubt equally as curious even if her expression was carefully composed. Under the morning light that poured through the windows of the office, her green eyes glowed. Armin felt his stomach jump when he realized how much they reminded him of Eren.

The unexpected jolt of nostalgia and subsequent desire to see his friend again made Armin wilt, pulling away from the desk and the Commander. After a moment he found himself being pressed by a strange tension and when he glanced up he saw Hanna Li quickly turning her gaze away.

"What was this document, sir?"

Erwin ran his fingers over the papers, missing the exchange between the two corporals as he stared wistfully at the lost information. "I'm not too sure. We had barely discovered it beneath some rubble. It's not written in Common, clearly another language…but it was a discovery that had bolstered our morale back then…made us fight harder.

"I had sworn to myself that I would return to it one day, maybe search for someone among the people who could read it."

Hanna Li's expression softened and she sighed, "I'm sorry, sir."

"Corporal Hanna Li, was it?"

"Li," she corrected. "Li is fine, sir."

"Li, then," Erwin focused his attention back on her, giving her a grateful smile and reaching a hand for her to take. Li blinked in confusion, hesitantly reaching back and taking it. "Thank you for your work. Your squad has done a lot for us. I will never forget it."

Li's lips wavered, her grip tightening over Erwin's grip. "Yes, sir."

When they pulled away, Armin saw something in Li's eyes that resembled thinly-veiled admiration and growing respect, but the look flickered away replaced by a hardened expression.

"You're dismissed." Erwin said. Li rose her hand into a firm salute. She nodded, tossed a final glance at Armin and turned away, her footsteps taking her across the room and out the door. After a short silence, Armin faced the commander as well, curious for his next orders.

"You may leave too, Armin."

Armin blinked, surprised.

"That was all, sir?"

Erwin nodded, his prosthetic fingers tracing the papers without feeling. The sight made something in Armin hurt.

"I had hoped that you could've helped me find information about this language," Erwin admitted. He shook his head, and a sliver of blond hair fell over his forehead. He sounded heart-breakingly forlorn. "But, there is no need for that now."

"Sir…" Armin tried to think of something, anything. It was almost impossible to think of anything appropriate to say. It was no surprise that Erwin had been hoping that with this document he would raise the morale of their broken people, turned the attention to the outside world once more and spark hope where the Mandate worked to snuff it out. This was yet another defeat when they needed a win.

"I'm sorry, sir." Armin said finally, bowing and pressing his fist to his chest, just above his aching heart.

Without another word from the commander, Armin stepped away and began to walk toward the door. It was clear there was much they needed to think about, much they needed to mourn. Armin wondered, then, how Commander Erwin could take all this without breaking. He doubted he had been the first to barge into his office, fury spitting through his teeth and demand for justice met. Erwin never punished him for his insubordination, and as far as Armin knew, he never made someone an example for reacting.

Instead he took it with silence and spoke when people were ready to listen, and sat back with his back straight and shoulders pulled back when little victories were taken from him.

Armin opened the door, hesitating beneath the threshold to throw one more glance behind him and to see Erwin stare back, defiance and determination clinging to his eyes like desperation.

Armin turned and left without another word.

* * *

 

On the last week of March, Levi found himself making his way toward the medical wing of the castle. The castle was seldom silent, but Erwin had received orders from above that the SC would need to go and assist the Garrison regime in a few practical drills and enforcing the border law. Several squads were assembled in the past week and dispatched just early that morning.

Levi's squad, however, was ordered to remain in the castle under the ruse of needed to see to other orders. In reality, they were to take up cautious stations and watch against a hidden attack.

"I wouldn't doubt this is a way for Zackley to drive our forces out and find a way to secure Historia." Erwin had said during a briefing with Hanji and Levi, shirt off and wincing as Hanji adjusted a few of his prosthetic's belts. "There's a possibility this whole 'bandit sighting and reports of civilian riots to escape the walls' thing is just a cover to send his agents to find her."

"My squad can handle them," Levi said, arms crossed as he watched Hanji tug and tighten the fake arm around Erwin's stump. The Commander let out a hiss, and Levi felt like he wasn't supposed to be there. The very air around the two was thick with tension.

"I don't want to risk it," Erwin said with some effort, sighing after Hanji pulled away and slapped him firmly on the shoulder.

"Stretch it out, how is it?" she asked. Erwin lifted his arm, testing out the feel of the prosthetic and tried to get used to how it pressed against his arm.

"It's fine," Erwin said, reaching to pull on his shirt. Hanji hesitated for a second before pulling away.

"Historia will remain here, in the castle," Hanji said as Erwin tugged on the fabric over his shoulders, her eyes met Levi's from across the room. "There's a less likely chance for her to get captured here than if she were out there."

"So, we hide, is that it?" Levi reiterated, tilting his chin.

"Yes." Erwin said finally. "We hide. Wait it out. Keeping her safe is more important than anything else now."

Sure enough, the news was met certainly by his team, and when he asked for any opinions there were none that advocated an opposing view. Levi watched Historia, now Krista Lenz, seeking for any sign of anger or defiance behind the blue stones of her eyes. She remained completely passive, appearing unconcerned about the decision to hold her within the castle walls like a treasure to be guarded.

When they all stood and were dismissed, she walked with her head held high, hands lax, and stride easily. It was impossible to read that girl now that she was assuming a different identity. Levi didn't like it, but there was no other choice now was there?

With very little to do while the Corps was out, Levi felt free to walk around the castle. He spoke with the staff people, those that came and maintained the grounds for various different reasons.

"Elheim," Levi greeted when he had stopped by the kitchens. "How are we doing with the stock?"

"Nothing too serious, sir," Elheim said. The cook was a broad man, tall and strong with gray hairs stuck out of his long brown hair. He was already one of those whom had been recruited despite already having a family. Working for the military was a small price to pay to make sure his oldest son would remain safe as a farmer. Even then, it had been hard for people like Elheim to try to exercise their agency. Not everyone found a loophole, and not everyone got it as easy.

"Just a few crates appeared bashed in," Elheim said, motioning to the small group of people who worked to bring in the food from the courtyard. "We're already counting up the losses to send to Mr. Flegel."

"What'd we lose?" Levi asked. Elheim's expression tightened worriedly. A cold drop of dread sank into Levi's stomach. The Captain sunk against the kitchen wall.

"Sorry, Cap," Elheim said with earnest. "I can bring in the tea we have in the back, if you want."

"That's for emergencies, Elheim," Levi said with a heavy expression. "This doesn't count."

Elheim rubbed at the back of his neck, looking like he was inwardly kicking himself. "I really do feel bad about this, sir."

"Just write Flegel to throw in a few extra crates," Levi said. "For free. If he gives you trouble, let me know."

"Yes, sir. Sorry about that, sir."

Walking through the steps of the castle, Levi tugged at his cravat, mood black. The last thing he wanted to find out, among being told to stay put, was that he would have to be careful the next few weeks with his own stock of tea. Losing the many pounds he had been looking forward to enjoying for the next long while had been enough to anger him. It didn't help that there was no wind today, and so the sun beat down over the castle.

It was not often they have heat waves. Lucky day, indeed.

The medical wing was, mercifully, empty save a few people who stood by to take care of wounded soldiers. Most injuries these days were caused by mistakes during the drills; broken bones, cut limbs, maybe a few dismembered fingers, nothing too serious.

Levi turned into one of the hallways, black glower in place as he walked. He nearly walked into a soldier, medic—judging by the tag on his sleeve—and recognized his face.

"Captain Levi, sir!" the cadet exclaimed, jumping back a foot from the sour faced captain.

"Van Gocken," Levi said, not bothering to lower the intensity of his glower. "I thought your squad was assigned to join the others near the wall."

"I've been kept here, under special orders," Alex said, bowing and keeping his gaze somewhere else. "My squad was assigned to go on without me."

"Special orders?" Levi raised a brow.

"Yes, sir." Alex nodded. "Just to keep an eye on the injured here."

Levi hummed in response, glancing over the Senior Cadet's shoulder to spot a small amount of soldiers laying in cots and keeping to themselves. Small muttering and the whisper of a kettle boiling somewhere in a room filled the space.

"Keep up the good work," Levi said, brushing past the tall boy. "If anyone asks, I wasn't here."

Hanji's door came into view not a full three minutes later. The wood stared back at him, taunting him. Levi's fingers tightened into fists once before he sighed and reached for the knob. He hesitated, then knocked.

"It's open," Hanji's voice filtered back a second later. Levi scowled, pushing the door in.

He dared not peek in like a timid school child, so he asserted his entrance as certainly as possible. Levi denied the ramming of his heart against his ribcage easily, throwing a swift glance around the room that he knew was cool-headed.

He spotted Hanji, sitting back on her seat, legs propped up on her desk while she nursed a tall bottle of wine. A shiver of disgust rolled through Levi's body upon spotting the caked dirt on her boots, spotting the way it flaked over the smooth surface of the desk and even over some documents.

Hanji waved a cheery hand at him, body freed from her jacket and shirt, leaving her only in a tank top that did nothing to protect her modesty.

"Hey, Levi!" Hanji said, beaming. "I was hoping that was you! Didn't think you'd knock though."

"Are you drunk," Levi asked, fixing the woman an annoyed glare.

"You look happy," she shot back, lifting her bottle to her lips to take a swig. "And, to answer your question, no. No, I am not drunk. I just barely decided to enjoy this bottle before you knocked oh-so-politely. What's wrong with your face? You look like you found out someone ruined your tea."

Levi's expression darkened at her off-handed comment. Hanji's eyes widened, her lips squeezed together to shape a small 'o'.

"Elheim wasn't kidding," Hanji muttered.

"You knew?" Levi ground out, feeling his irritation mount. Hanji nodded, waving her arm as she set her bottle of wine down over an opened book.

"In my defense," she said, lifting her hands up. "I thought Elheim was joking about the tea, you know how he is. Should I have warned you? Probably, but I honestly had no clue save that…so…"

Levi exhaled slowly, letting the door close behind him before smacking her boots off the desk none too gently. Hanji let out a small grunt of surprise but made no other protest, not when she spotted Levi turn to give the entire room another quick sweep with his eyes.

"She's not here," Hanji answered his unasked question. At Levi's swift glance, Hanji leaned back on her chair and sighed. "I forbid her to come today. Made sure she went out and did something else… just your luck too. Otherwise, this would've been super awkward."

Levi said nothing, just stood for a moment and staring into the half-closed curtain. His eyes fell over the cot, seeing nothing but white blankets over a still-sleeping figure. A small breeze tickled the divider, making the white curtains sway imperceptibly.

"Say, Levi," Hanji said. Levi gave a small hum in reply.

"What if you forget about the mandate and marry me instead?"

A sharp jolt of surprise rocked through Levi's body, making him whirl hard enough to give his neck whiplash. Levi's eyes stared at Hanji, falling flat when he saw her bend over with laughter.

"You weren't—oh man, you should've seen your face—just—Guwahh?" Hanji mimicked his expression with wild eyes and a slack jaw before falling back on her chair and holding her stomach. Peals of laughter shook through her as she laughed, leaving Levi to glower at her.

"Dumbass shitty glasses," he grumbled, turning back around to ignore her.

"Oh come on," Hanji said through dying giggles. "It was a joke! God knows everyone has been on edge about this damn thing. Especially Erwin…"

Levi didn't laugh. It wasn't funny to joke. He dared to glance back at her, seeing the way her smile turned almost sullen, the red in her cheeks fading as she sighed. Without another word she scooped up the wine bottle and began to chug whole-heartedly. Levi watched as she drank, seeing how she wiped tears from her eyes and wondered if it was really just from the laughter.

"I'm just tired of seeing so much sadness," Hanji pulled the bottle down with a sigh. "That's all…"

Levi looked away, still feeling his body reel with the shock of Hanji's prank, but the heaviness in the air changed. Not quite so heavy, not quite so light. An awkward and uncomfortable in-between.

"You know, Levi," Hanji spoke again. He didn't look at her, yet he made no motion to show he wasn't listening. "The Survey is only mandatory to those who are single… That's what the engagement document is for."

The implication was almost certainly enough to cut Levi's visit short. He turned, prepared to walk out without a response. To his surprise, Hanji was giving him a glare that froze him before he marched anywhere.

"Not everyone can take advantage of that."

"Hanji," Levi said.

She shook her head, auburn locks sticking to her cheeks and the sweaty parts of her neck. "Just…think about it, okay?"

"Anything?" He murmured after a long moment, his eyes back on Eren's sleeping figure.

"No," Hanji said softly. "Still, you should go to him."

"And do what?"

"Talk to him."

Levi shot Hanji a bewildered expression, eyebrows furrowing. "Talk to him? Would he even hear me? Is he even alive in there?"

Hanji's eyes fell toward her desk, and Levi didn't realize until then that his voice had escalated after his second question. He turned back toward the curtains and the cot, wavering. His last question seemed to echo within the walls of the room, sinking deep into his skin and dragging pain into his chest.

Without another word, Levi moved toward the cot, stepping around the divider to better see the boy within the blankets. He inhaled sharply but otherwise remained still.

Eren didn't look any different than the last time Levi had paid him a visit, which was almost a month ago. You would have had to twist Levi's arm to visit the comatose boy back then, and Hanji almost had to after the months faded and their hope dwindled. What drove Levi to Hanji's office and Eren's cot back then had been unexplainable.

One moment he had been checking the equipment for his squad's recon mission, the next he was suddenly standing near those very curtains, staring with wide eyes at the bed.

"I did this to him," Levi had whispered that time, his insides hollow and strangely frail.

Hanji's abrupt grasp to his shoulders made him jolt. He looked into her eyes and saw her staring back, livid and tired, scared, drained beyond everything.

"This is  _not_  your fault," Hanji hissed, fingers digging into his flesh. "None of this is. He made a choice, Levi. So did you."

_A choice…_

_Mikasa's eyes bore into him, cold. She stood away, distant, and exposed like a blade. She never said anything, but he saw it in her eyes._

_You did this._

_Your fault._

My fault.

Back then, Levi had turned and left as quickly as he had arrived, unable to handle seeing Eren so painfully quiet and fragile. This time, Levi's feet remained solid and firm on the floor. His eyes focused on the finer details, watched the way Eren inhaled and exhaled just as gently as the curtains did. It was after he had memorized the way Eren's skin stretched over his bones that Levi looked away.

A single chair stood dutifully by the side of the cot. A strand of black hair was wedged within the wood design, it alone nearly made Levi turn and walk. He didn't.

With a breath, Levi shifted a bit closer, leaning his weight against the cot. He didn't dare sit down on the chair, yet he couldn't stop throwing small glances at it, as if its usual holder would materialize before he knew it.

"Hey, Eren," Levi said, fingers curling when he felt Hanji's eyes land on him. "I just came to see how you were doing…"

He trailed off, feeling unbelievably out of place. Levi turned around, shooting an exasperated glance at Hanji. She responded with an encouraging gesture, moving her hands in his direction to keep going. Levi rolled his eyes, shifting against to press his hands against his hips.

"Hanji, this is stupid," he ground out.

"Just sit down and talk to him," Hanji said. "Tell him how you've been, let him know how you feel."

Levi fixed her a flat expression. Hanji sighed and leaned back against her chair with pronounced amusement.

"Fine just give him a quick update on things. Literally anything is fine."

Levi turned gun-metal blue eyes back toward the sleeping shifter, wondering at his peaceful expression, vacant of emotions and fire. What could he say? Still, Levi refused to sit down in the chair, but he turned and sat on the edge of the cot. The mattress dipped with his weight, but otherwise made no noise or other movement.

Eren made no move or sound that he registered the sensation. Levi didn't know if that was encouraging or despairing.

"The Corps is doing fine," Levi said after a moment. "We're all okay. The squad doesn't like to bring you up, but I know they all care about you. But you already know that…considering how they all love to visit you…"

Levi avoided Hanji's curious gaze, turning his chin to gaze out the window over Eren's head. The trees and sky looked like a painting, still and vibrant, full of color. This was a rare moment. It was not often one could look out a window and see the world without the sounds of the military working in the background. A sparrow flicked out between a branch of a tree, zooming through the air before disappearing into a thicket near the ground.

"Perhaps it's a good thing you are still sleeping," Levi mused, his eyes sliding back to Eren's sleeping face. "Maybe it's better you never woke up."

The door of the infirmary slid open. Levi's attention snapped back toward the door, body rising from the cot with alarm. There was no warning, just a silent shock that stole the breath from his chest as soon as he was met with a pair of coal gray eyes.

"Mikasa!" Hanji exclaimed, her voice wavering with forced cheer and an obvious twinge of anxiousness. "What are you doing here?"

What surprised flashed through Mikasa's face upon seeing Levi standing by Eren's cot disappeared just as quickly. A cold expression sharpened her gaze, made her lips tighten into a thin line. Levi's expression must've done the same, because the heat in the room suddenly dropped.

"I wanted to see if there was any news," Mikasa said. She tore her gaze away from Levi's, turning to face Hanji without so much as a greeting. Levi's hands twitched at his sides. There was a special frigidity to her attitude today, one that brought down a dark scowl over Levi's face.

"I told you, Mikasa," Hanji sighed, pushing up from her chair to stand in front of the shorter woman. "Go worry about something else today. Eren's in good hands."

"I know that," Mikasa said, making an effort nonetheless to push past Hanji. Hanji lifted a hand pressed it against Mikasa's shoulder, and there was a flash of desperation in Mikasa's gaze that made Levi move.

Hanji pulled away startled, and Mikasa's eyes went wide when Levi stepped close. In one fluid motion, he brushed past her, reaching around to grab the knob of the door. At this proximity, Levi was able to catch a whiff of her scent—clean, soft, lavender…

The knob creaked beneath the pressure of his grip, and the air swept around his hair as he pulled the door back roughly. Hanji had moved, but Mikasa had remained, frozen near his figure.

"Excuse me," he said, voice cold, heart ramming against his chest.

Levi was out the door a second later, the door swinging back behind him. He would not glance behind him, he would not. When the door shut, Levi could feel the tug of his heart yank hard—harder than before—Hanji's words still playing in his ears even while his footsteps struck the cobblestone with vigor.

_That's what the engagement document is for… just, think about it, okay?_

It's too late for that, Levi knew.

Fifteen months too late.

* * *

 

TBC

_a/n: bonus points to those who caught the tfs abridged series reference in here._

 


End file.
